Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Autumn's First Wet Wednesday

Welcome to my first Wet Wednesday. Wet Wednesday are fun little questions that give you some guiding points for discussion and for revealing a bit of yourself. If you'd like to participate in your own blog you'll find Wet Wednesday here.

1. in the book cougar: a guide for older women dating younger men by valerie gibson, ms. gibson states that the typical cougar-prey age difference is six years. would you date - or have you ever dated - someone at least six years your junior?
I never have dated someone that much younger although I did always used to date guys a few years younger than I was. If I weren't married though I'd be a total cougar. Especially if I wasn't looking to get married.

2. what is the largest age difference between you and a paramour? who was older?
The largest difference in any relationship is my current one. My husband is 7 years older than I am.

3. what would you say to your friend if he/she was carrying on with a friend of their child? is this ever acceptable to you? why or why not?
I think people should do whatever makes them happy. I've known a few people who had a difference of more than 5 years between them and they've been very happy - and yes, she was older than him. Age really doesn't matter if you love each other.

But what about if you're just messing around. Well, the younger the better as far as I'm concerned. One of the best candidates for messing around in a non-committed relationship is a younger man. They aren't out for marriage, they don't care if you see other people, they have no hang ups. So, as long as both parties are old enough and mature enough to be in a relationship/messing around then it's no one's business but their own.

However, if it is a friend of your kid that you're messing around with you should take your kid's feelings into consideration. And know that if you don't think about it it could make a mess out of your relationship with your child. Is it worth that?

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Saturday, September 29, 2007

Finding Time For Romance

Finding time for romance is never easy when life gets in the way. Let's face it - ther are about a zillion things to distract us. It might be our jobs, the kids, the neighbors, a friend in needs, parents demanding our attention, our favorite television show, a hobby - the list can go on forever.

But when it comes right down to it, we have to make a choice to find time for romance. It doesn't have to be a full out, two hour long love making sessions. Romance can fit into little spots during the day and if you are consistent, when two hours are available those love making sessions are that more enjoyable.

Ways to fit romance into a hectic day:

~ Sit down with your partner for just five minutes and REALLY listen to them; hold their hand or touch them as you do so.
~ Write them a note before you leave the house and leave it somewhere where they will find it - doesn't have to be sexy or naughty; a simple "I Love You" will do the trick.
~ Remind the of something special from your past like the smell of the flowers in your honeymoon suite or that dress she wore when you went to that backyard barbeque before you got married. Your partner will know that you remember and are thinking about them.
~ Give them a five minute back rub when the most need it.
~ Touch often - a caress, a hug, fingers running through the hair; all of these are appreciated, even more so when you aren't specifically looking to get some!
~ Rent the movie you know your partner REALLY wants to see.
~ Run out at midnight to get that special thing they are craving - chocolate, Pepsi, whatever.

And most of all, remember that this applies to the guys AND the girls! Romance isn't gender specific.

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Wicked Winter Escapes Contest

Wicked Winter Escapes

Okay writers, winter will be here before we know it so let's get things heated up with another contest! I want to know how you keep things heated up in the bedroom (or in any other room of the house or outside or…whatever turns you on)! I want something that's going to steam up the windows and make things combust into flames.

The rules are simple:
Make it HOT!
500 words or less.
It should take place in the winter.
You must be 18 years of age to enter this contest.

Absolutely NO bestiality, incest, sex with minors, or extreme violence!

Prizes? Of course there are prizes!

FIRST PRIZE: $25 and a free e-book
SECOND PRIZE: $15 and a free e-book
THIRD PRIZE: $10 and a free e-book
** Honorable mentions may be chosen to receive a free e-book at our discretion.

Submissions to the contest should be sent to with "contest" in the subject line.

By submitting your story in the contest you must agree to allow Inky Blue Allusions to publish your story on the site and use it for promotional purposes if it is chosen as one of the winner or for an honorable mention.

Contest Deadline: November 30th, 2007

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Sunday, August 19, 2007

"If you jump into bed on a first date, it's already over" and other Myths

People have a lot of preconceived misperceptions about love. But it is important to remember that there are no universal truths to love - only your truths. What happened to you is your truth and you will remember it until the day you die. And you will likely live by it as well. However, to your best friend, or the guy in the apartment next door, or the lady behind the counter at the corner store - your truth may not apply. In fact, it likely doesn't.

For example, take the whole idea of "love at first sight." Some swear by it. Others think it is a myth. For some it will always be a myth and they'll never experience the joys and the pains of love at first sight. Recently, there was an article at Romance Tracker called, "Love at First Sight - 3 Ways to Know It's Real." The three ways they gave as a sure fire way of knowing it was love at first site were: you don't want to rush things (physically), you see things in them that others don't, and you want to learn everything you can about them. Hmmm.

First, I'd like to say that just because you want to get intimate right away doesn't decrease the quality of love you have. I will admit that some people have sex and equate it with love and that does decrease their chances of building a solid relationship. But everyone is different. My husband and I have been intimate since our second date and I don't think that hurt us at all. Mind you, we do a lot of talking, laughing, and other non-physical intimate things together as well, so sex is not the mainstay of our relationship. I'd say if sex becomes the only reason for getting together then love is likely not what you're looking at. But just because you have sex doesn't mean that you're love (at first site or otherwise) is not real.

Now, the second point - you see things in them that others don't. That can be a good thing. I think I see a lot in my husband that others don't see and that is part of what makes us a great couple. I can also get past a lot of things that others might not be able to (anxiety/panic disorder is not an easy condition to live with for either party) and that makes us good for each other. But sometimes seeing things that others don't see can mean that you aren't seeing the things that others see.

If you see that he or she is an incredibly sensitive person with a great love for animals, that's great. But it's not so great if you focus on only that and refuse to see that he or she also has severe control issues that are going to impact your relationship in the future. Seeing good things about your partner is good. Making those the main focus and putting other things that are potentially dangerous are not.

Finally, you want to learn everything you can about them? Well, that almost sound kind of junior high to me. Of course, you want to learn about them. But it's important to remember that everyone has some secrets, everyone will have things that want to keep to themselves until they are ready to share, and if you are really in love you will respect that.

The bottom line is that every one's experiences with love - at first site, long standing, whatever type of love you think you are in - is conditional. It is based on your previous experiences, your morals, the norms of your society, and multitudes of other factors.

Love is what you make it to be. Don't expect yourself to fit into others definitions.

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Monday, July 16, 2007

"Thank You"

Saying "thank you" is one of the things that people often forget to say. In fact, I think that when someone does say "thank you" it's more shocking than if they didn't! And that's pretty sad when you think about it.

What about in your relationship? When was the last time you thanked your partner for something you appreciated? When was the last time you thanked your partner for the little things he or she does that they don't even know mean something to you?

Saying "thank you" can increase your romance in your relationship because the more they know they are appreciated the more they will go out of their way to do those little things that make you happy. It's kind of along the theory of the more you scratch the more it itches, but in a positive way. If you say "thank you", they know that they're noticed and that their efforts don't go unseen.

There are many ways to say "thank you" besides actually saying it as well. You could:

~ put a sweet note in their lunch box, briefcase, or purse when they go to work.
~ buy them a special little gift with a note attached.
~ make them a dinner with a card set next to their plate.
~ give them a massage as you tell them how much you appreciated the nap you got to have before dinner.
~ buy them tickets for a concert
~ send them to the golf course with their buddies.
~ send them an sweet text message when they are least expecting it.

The ways to say "thank you" or to show your thanks are infinite. And the wonderful thing is that by leading by example they are more likely to show their thanks to you in return for the things you do that are appreciated.

Let's bring back the "thank you"s in our lives by starting a new trend. Thank your partner for something everyday. Then wait and see if it doesn't come back to you ten-fold!

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Monday, July 2, 2007

When the Truth Comes Out

What do you do when you find out part way into a serious committed relationships that your partner has been holding back some crucial information that you really should have known before you made the commitment (the commitment being getting married, or living together, or what ever signifies commitment to you)?

Perhaps they've revealed that they are bisexual. Or maybe they've told you that they are a cross-dresser. Or perhaps they've just confessed that porn is a major part of their life and they've been watching it all this time behind your back.

There are really only several choices:

  1. Cut your losses and get out
  2. Take the time to really listen to them and find out what this means for your relationship
  3. Jump in with arms wide open and do everything you can to share this with them

Now, of course, not all of these are cut and dry. If there are children involved there will be even more questions to ask but for simplicity's sake, let's pretend that it is just the two of you.

Your first option is cutting your losses. This may be your first reaction, depending on what your partner has just confessed. But don't say anything yet. If you're really, really shocked just tell them you need to take some time to think about it. Then do just that. Think about it. Think about whether or not that changes this person you love. Does it change how they treat you? Does it change the way you see them? Does it make them a different person? Think about how hard it must have been to come to you, how much it must have hurt them to hide it from you, and how desperately they must want to be loved for who they are. Making this decision would mean major changes for both of you. It's not always the best one.

The second option - taking some time to talk it out with them - means hearing their side of the story with as little bias as possible. Listen to how they came to be who they are, why they hid it from you in the first place, why they decided to finally tell you. Ask questions and don't judge. If you judge them without actually listening, you've already left.

The last choice - jumping in, arms open - is not always easier said than done. You may not know everything you think you know about the situation. Keep talking. Talk every single day. Learn more, share more, and find out what is really involved in this little secret. You may not even have to get involved but simply may only need to accept that this is part of who they are.

Everyone has secrets but some are more shocking than others.

There are a few things that will be invaluable to you on your journey no matter which choice you make:

  1. Education - find out as much as you possibly can. Not just from them, but look things up on the Internet, read blogs, read educational material, read research.
  2. Support - find a group of people, whether in real life or on the net, who have gone through a similar situation. Talk to them and be honest with how you feel.
  3. Communication - you need to talk to your partner. Yes, you need to find out how they feel, but share with them how you feel as well. Let them know what questions are going through your head and what you do or don't understand. They'll often be able to answer your questions or point you to a resource that can answer them.
  4. Remembering - remember why you fell in love with them in the first place. Remember all the qualities that make you love them. Remember that you can get through anything - you just have to choose to and you both have to be on the same page.

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Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Love and Marriage

Hi all. I know, I haven't been here nearly often enough lately but I just had to share this with all of you. Check out this link to one of my other blogs. My husband wrote the and would like to share it as well. It is simply the most genuine, romantic thing you will ever read!

Between the Sheets - Love and Marriage - a Love Letter

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Friday, June 1, 2007

Honeymoon Bliss

You may or may not have noticed my absence this past few weeks. For once in my life I feel like I actually have a good excuse. I got married! I'd like to say that the previous week's absence was due to my planning a wedding but it wasn't. My sister planned it for me! She got the church, the lunch, and everything else ready and really all I had to do was show up. But there were a few plans to make on my end as well. Packing, where to send the kids during the honeymoon, and so on.

Our wedding was wonderful with a quaint little antique church and only about 25 guests. Perfect size for me. I don't like fuss.

For the honeymoon, we've gone the non-fuss route as well. We did splurge for one of the nicest hotels I've ever stayed at that overlooks a beautiful little lake (little is actually an understatement) in eastern Canada. The city we are staying in is barely a city with just over 16,000 people so it is easy to get around and there isn't major traffic. There are plenty of places to walk along the waterfront. Mostly we've been driving around the countrside and exploring the neat little places in town.

One thing we have really enjoyed together is random moments of flashing. Yes, flashing. I've always enjoyed flashing him around the house when he's least expecting it but I took it up a notch while we're on our honeymoon. I've flashed him in the elevator, the parking lot, and in the bushes! I even posed for some "just for him" pictures. He loves it.

So, I'll be back next week and I'll hopefully be done blathering about my honeymoon escapades. If you want to read more about it read Between the Sheets, one of my other blogs, where I've gone into a bit more detail.

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Thursday, May 10, 2007

Good Night!

So, you've had a long day. You've been running around the office all day, having meetings, in phone conferences, and meeting deadlines. Or perhaps you've been chasing a toddler, cleaning house, doing groceries, and basically making every one's day more enjoyable. Either way, you're exhausted. You climb into bed, pull the covers up to your chin and get ready to drift into a peaceful sleep. But it doesn't come. Instead you lay there staring at the ceiling. Sound familiar? To many this is a common theme when it comes to sleeping. After a hectic day, it is sometimes difficult to relax enough to fall asleep. And sometimes when they do fall asleep, it is not restful but spattered with crazy dreams that have them tossing and turning. So what do you do?

For many the answer is masturbation. Yes, jacking off, jilling off, spanking the monkey, tickling the ivory key, pulling the pud, whacking off, stroking the salami, blowing your own horn, buttering the corn, being a friction magician - you get the idea. And this isn't just something men do - women do it, too!

The fact of the matter is, masturbating releases endorphins in your brain, which in turn helps you relax. But the biggest reason masturbation may help you get those zzz's is because it takes you out of your mind and forces you to focus on your bodies responses. Let's face it - it's pretty damn hard to think about the project that is due tomorrow or whether little Johnny's behavior at the park was a result of not being breast fed long enough when your fingers are working magic over your favorite erogenous zone. Finally, the orgasm is like a good sneeze. You get rid of all the toxic energy that is floating through your body, which will calm your anxious muscles and put your mind at ease.

So, the next time you find yourself counting the cracks on the ceiling, remember that there is a much better way to relax and get some quality sleep - masturbate your way to a healthier night.

Good night all!

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Love Notes

Ever feel like your partner thinks you don't exist? Ever wonder if he thinks about you during the day or if he's just so absorbed in his work that you don't even enter his mind? If you do, chances are he does, too.

Women tend to think that it's just us that needs affirmation of our partner's love but they need it to. They want to know that you think of them during the day, that you dream about them at night, and that you lust after them randomly. Love notes are a great way to let them know that you do.

Try dropping a little love note in his briefcase (just make sure you don't put it anywhere where it will fall out onto his boss's desk!) or leaving him sticky notes on the fridge. If you can be relatively sure that only he will see it, don't be afraid to say something sexy.

"Dear ______________,

I had the most amazing dream last night. I dreamt that we went skinny dipping at that lake we used to go to all the time. The water felt so great on my naked skin and your skin against mine felt even better! Meet you at the shower tonight after the kids go to bed?



That's only an example. If you dare, get a little dirty. Get raunchy. Say what you really mean and then follow up on it.

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Wednesday, April 18, 2007

No one IS Sex

A few years back I had a friend who contributed towards my growing as a sexual person. She is an amazing person. I'm going to call her Peaches because that was my special nickname for her and because no one who reads this would identify her by that name except for a few people who know her and I really well.

Anyway, Peaches is this beautiful woman who is completely secure in her sexuality. She's had a wide array of sexual experiences and isn't afraid of trying new things. When I met her she was very curvy. Some would say overweight but I prefer to say she was voluptuous. She's a lot thinner now and the funny thing is it hasn't made her sexier. She's just as sexy as she ever was. But when she was curvier, she wasn't ashamed of it. She embraced her curves. But this isn't about her curves. This is about how people perceived her and how people have perceived me.

This is about how the world perceives a woman who is confident in her sexuality.

Peaches could talk about anything sexually. She didn't reveal everything to everyone because she didn't need to but if someone asked her a question she wasn't ashamed to give an honest answer. Peaches loved men and sometimes women (and I was fortunate enough to be one of those women for a time) and could see beauty in all sorts of people. She loved to laugh and a lot of the time we were laughing about sex because let's face it, sex can be pretty damn funny sometimes. She loved to tease and play coy and loved knowing that she could arouse someone. Sex was fun. Sex could be serious with her too but that was reserved for special people.

One day someone said, "Peaches IS sex!" I don't recall whether they said it to her face or behind her back. If they said it to her face I know she would have been very upset about it. If they said it in front of me, I was very upset. To this day I don't remember which it was. Years later, someone said the same thing about me. If you're a sex worker or a writer who enjoys the topic of sex maybe someone has said that about you, too.

No one IS sex. They may enjoy talking about it, writing about it, or participating in it for fun or as a career, but NO ONE IS sex. People who love sex have lives and I think it is important for others to realize that.

Peaches also loved kitties and had a really close relationship with her family. She had an eating disorder as a teenager that was very difficult to overcome. She got hurt by people's words and sometimes she cried. She is incredibly intelligent and has a degree in Art History. She's written some fabulous papers. She struggles with depression. There are parts of her life that are great and some not so great. She's not sex.

I'm a single mom and I take my parenting role very seriously. I'm engaged to a wonderful man and we don't just fuck our brains out every night. We talk and we laugh a lot and we worry about bills and whether "the girl" (my daughter) is growing up too fast and if "the boy" (my son) is getting enough sleep. We make plans for our future and have goals that don't include when we can find time for a quickie. I am not sex.

People can love sex or work in the sex industry or both, but no one IS sex.

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Wednesday, April 11, 2007


There comes a time in every relationship where the sex just gets boring! Ok, I'm sure that there are some relationships out there where this isn't a fact, but I know that it happens often. There's a reason why 1 in 5 marriages are non-sexual (numbers varying depending on what study you're looking at). The fact of the matter is women (and sometimes men) just get tired of the old "you do this to me and I do this to you and then you sigh like that and I move on to part two..." routine. That's the point - it gets to be routine when you learn what you partner likes. And you might be giving them orgasms, but it doesn't mean it hasn't gotten boring.

Try taking a break from sex. Seriously. Just intercourse though. You're still going to have some fun. Take the amount of time that passes between your sexual encounters with you partner and double it. Now for that amount of time, vow that there will be no penetration between you (if you're a lesbian couple replace penetration with whatever is your definition of the culmination of sex). Or no orgasms. But that doesn't mean no intimacy.

For one night focus on touch. You can touch each other however you like but you can't move on to penetration. Find new erogenous zones, bring the excitement high, then back up until you are both calm. The next night, focus on your audio-erotic senses. Read each other naughty stories, listen to sensual music, or tell you partner what you would like him or her to do to you. Play little games with each other for the next while until you time is up.

When you time is up, bring every thing you have learned about your partner with you to the bedroom. Use it and play with it. This time you can culminate your passions any way you choose. Whatever you do, I'll bet it won't be boring.

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Wednesday, April 4, 2007

Such A Dirty Man

Enjoy an erotic story today! Alan and Beth are at the beginning of something very exciting.

Such a Dirty Man
by Autumn Seave

When Alan's niece, Jennesa, asked him to help her school start a garden he didn't think much about it before he said yes. He never expected the decision to have such a positive impact on his life though. Beth, the Educational Assistant in Jennesa's class was the teacher who volunteered to help him and she made him think about things he had not thought about in a long time. She made him think about that girl who had come into his life twenty years ago and then disappeared. She made him think about walks along the beach at sunset. And she made him think about sex.

Alan was attracted to her immediately. She was pretty in an uncomplicated way. Green eyes prevented her from looking like a typical girl-next-door and the flip at the end of her long, brown pony tail made her seem younger than she probably was. In her khaki shorts and black tank top she looked almost waifish but the tiny nipples that peaked her small breasts gave him an instant hard on.

Beth came every weekday over the summer. She picked everything up very quickly and listened attentively when he spoke. As the summer went on, he found himself spending longer periods of time with her in the greenhouse and had to stay up later at night to get his accounting work done. Fortunately, he worked freelance and could choose when he would work. He enjoyed listening to her talk as well. When she spoke about her students she would get all animated. When she told him about the things she was doing to train for her first triathlon, he found himself getting excited about it, too. He imagined himself waiting for her at the end of the finish line and having her jump into his arms, exhausted but proud.

One particularly hot day in August, Beth was telling him how she had beaten her own lap record at the pool this morning. He hugged her without thinking and was a little surprised when she held it longer than necessary. She pressed her nose into his t-shirt and took a long whiff.

"Did you just smell my shirt?" he laughed. "It can't smell very good."

"It does. It smells like soil and soap - like you."

A flush came to her cheeks and she quickly turned back to the plant she'd been trimming. Alan stared at her brown shoulders in the pink tank top in wonderment. Was it possible that she might feel the same way about him as he did for her?

In a rare moment of total distraction, Alan turned away, stumbled over a potted plant on the floor, and fell against Beth. He just narrowly missed falling on her, but set her off balance as well. She fell forward and he caught her. As they fell, Alan knocked over a bag of open soil that was sitting on a low table and they were soon covered in fresh dirt.

"I'm so sorry," Alan stammered.

"Great, now I'm all dirty," Beth said.

For a moment he thought she was serious. Then she began to laugh. Soon he was laughing as well. And then he was kissing her; and she was kissing him back.


He stopped abruptly when she began to pull up his shirt, rubbing her hands over his body, simultaneously pushing the dirt away and rubbing it into his chest hair. Again, she pressed her nose into his chest and inhaled deeply.

"Beth..." he tried again.

This time she halted his words by sliding her tank top over her head. Those hard points were even more beautiful than the visions he saw in his head at night. There was no doubt in his mind now about how she felt about him. No sooner was her shirt off than she was tearing at the zipper of his jeans.

Now that Alan had recovered from his surprise, he began to help her in removing their clothes. Soon, they were rolling in the rich soil that covered the floor. Her hands were everywhere at once - caressing his chest, clutching at his ass, and stroking his cock into the most amazing erection he remembered having in a long time.

Without warning, she turned onto her back and presented her open lips to him. They glistened with her excitement and her light brown pubic hair was damp and curly.

"Alan, I need to have you inside me now but unless you have a condom handy, that's going to have to wait. Fingers will have to do for now. Unless you'd rather watch?"

"No, I need to touch you. Let me."

His fingers slid inside her and his thumb rubbed over her clit. Her hips rose against his hand as she sighed. Then her eyes were open again and she was reaching for his cock. She stroked him gently at first and then more firmly as she sensed his need. His fingers kept up with her pace. He loved watching her excitement build.


And then her muscles began to spasm around his fingers. He watched as she came, her pussy pressing against the whole of his hand, eyes closed in uninhibited release. As the muscle contractions slowed her hand began to caress his rod with renewed enthusiasm. With his eyes on hers, it was only moments before he came, his come landing first, in a small pile of soil just past her right nipple, then dribbling over her stomach.

"You're such a dirty man," Beth said.

"I'm sorry," Alan began.

"No," Beth laughed, "you're dirty. You have dirt all over you. I think we'd better get you into a shower before that clump of dirt finds it way into your ear."

"And I think I might have condoms in the house," he said, grinning madly.

As she dressed, he didn't think of the girl he loved in his twenties, but he did see Beth walking beside him, water lapping at their feet, and the sunset cooling their skin.

If you'd like to read more stories, visit Inky Blue Allusions Free Stories section.

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Thursday, March 29, 2007

Pillow Talk and Talking Dirty

When people think of pillow talk they might think it means talking dirty. But that's not necessarily the case. Pillow talk can be anything that turns both of you on. But talking dirty can be lots of fun and it is well worth exploring.

It is commonly believed that men love dirty talk. Okay, I'm not going to lie to you - a LOT of them do. But for a lot of women, dirty talk is just too much to ask for right away. It makes them feel embarrassed and a little bit shameful. But you don't start off learning to swim by swimming the English Channel do you? No, you start by getting your feet wet, then gradually building up to a full body dunking and before you know it you're swimming.

Pillow talk is kind of like that. You have to start slow and get comfortable first. After all, it is rather difficult to be turned on when the discomfort of uttering words you can barely say in your head out weighs your arousal. So start slow.

One of the things that men like about dirty talk is the praise. They like being told that they are doing something right and, even more, they like knowing that they are turning you on. So start with easy words that aren't particularly dirty.

"Honey, I love it when you touch me like that."

"Do that again. That felt really good."

"Could you do that thing you did last night again? I just can't get enough of that."

"Don't stop, don't stop..."

You don't have to utter a single dirty word and you can still make your partner feel turned on and appreciated.

But what if you really want to? You want to learn to talk dirty and get comfortable with it? Ester November has some good advice. One of the things she suggests is reading erotica. Find some stories you love with language that turns you on. Once you find a few stories you like, read them aloud to each other. Or find some audioerotica to listen to together.

Reading, hearing, and saying the words aloud will make you feel more comfortable with them and your partner will love it.

Once you get used to just speaking, you can gradually add more erotic wording to your love making. Before you know it, you'll be talking dirty like a pro.

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Sunday, March 18, 2007

Thank You For Last Night - audio story

Enjoy an erotic audio story! Listen to it and then put it on your partner's mp3 player or put it on a disc and slide it into his car stereo. Just make sure not to do it on the day he's carpooling!

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Friday, March 9, 2007

Flirting for Fun and Other Benefits

Once people have been in a relationship for a long time they forget how important flirting can be. Yes, flirting. It doesn't matter if you've been in a relationship for 2 months or 20 years -- flirting keeps things interesting. Flirting is a way that you can be sexual with your partner without actually engaging in sex.

Often, when you have children or busy jobs or a busy social life, it can be hard to make time for the special time you may need to start some great sex. Kids take up a lot of your time and your emotional energy and when the end of the day comes all you want to do is shut off and sleep. Or if you have a hectic, high demand job, it is hard to remember that you have a partner that needs your attention. But flirting can give you that little extra incentive to find time to give your relationship some intimacy.

Imagine that your in the kitchen doing something normal, like dishes, and your husband (or wife) comes up and whispers in your ear, "You can't even imagine what is going through my head right now, seeing your hand covered in all those bubbles..." and then they walk away. Won't that make you curious. The next night as you're icing a cake, they give you a sexy look and just say, "Mmmm, icing." Now if you and your partner exchange little flirtatious innuendos all week long, I can almost guarantee that as the week goes on you'll be on each other's minds more and more. And by the time the weekend comes and you've asked your parents to take the kids for the weekend, flirted your way through a delicious meal or held hands throughout the movie, when you finally get home and get each other along, there will be passion flowing all over the place.

My fiance and I have only been together for a year but we flirt all the time. I plant ideas in his head that appeal to his fantasies (and mine). If he's on the phone I'll sometimes sneak up behind him and slide my hand over his shoulders, down his chest, and back up. Then I leave him to his phone call. Sometimes at night we talk about sex, fantasies, experiences, even though we have no intentions of actually having sex. On occasion, it actually does lead to sex, but usually it doesn't. By the time that we do actually have the opportunity to have sex, all that talking and flirting has us ready and rarin' to go!

Everyone knows that women love foreplay, and lots of it. Well, think of flirting and sexual innuendo as foreplay for men. It can last for an hour or it can last for weeks. Flirting is great. Flirt with your partner for a week or even two. Don't even try to initiate sex in that time. When you finally do initiate sex, I'll bet he'll be more in the mood than he has before.

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