Sunday, September 30, 2007

Five Questions for a Beauty

Lisabet Sarai, an erotica writer, has an image section on her website. The caption of one of her photos is "In My Prime - Another photo of me, from my younger days. This is what a writer of erotica should look like. " Anyone who views the photo would be hard pressed to disagree.

When you read hot erotica you may assume that the author of the erotica is also hot. But more often than not your assumption would be wrong. Authors of erotica look just like most everybody else.

But there are exceptions, and in my Five Questions for a Beauty I interview what I consider exceptions. These are women who don't mind posing for sexy photos because they have what it takes to pull it off. A feminist may call it objectification. I know it's not that serious. These are intelligent women who appreciate their bodies and who know that a bit of eye candy is not a bad thing.

Five Questions for a Beauty

Kelly M. Marshall
Kelly's MySpace

On the evening of October 27th I'll be reading from Iridescence at BookWoman in Austin, Texas. Kelly M. Marshall will be joining me as she reads her story and other stories from Travelrotica. I've never met Kelly, but I discovered what she looked like when I visited her MySpace. Her "Boobsquish" photo is my favorite.

1. Name a favorite book.

A Blind Man Can See How Much I Love You: Stories by Amy Bloom. I love her writing style: it's visceral, graceful, and precise.

2. Name a favorite piece of music.

This one is hard. Good music helps me write, so there's always something playing. Plus, I'm a huge music nerd. Right now, I'm listening to Pentaphobe's "A Tribal Metamorphosis". I know I'm cheating, naming a whole album.

3. You've been invited to a cocktail party. What do you wear?

It depends on my mood, who's throwing the party, and if I'm wanting to impress. I'm more of a tight jeans and low-cut blouse kind of girl. With high heels. Minimal jewelry. If I'm really trying to go all out, I'll wear a skirt or dress.

4. What do you feel has been your most important writing accomplishment to date?

Getting published in Travelrotica for Lesbians Vol. 2 was a pretty big deal for me. However, artistically, I would say the play I'm helping to co-write is a big accomplishment, not so much from a writing standpoint, but more from a personal growth point ofview.

5. What is your next writing project?

You know that music I'm listening to? It's helping to inspire my next erotica story. That's the only hint you get!

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Saturday, September 29, 2007

Finding Time For Romance

Finding time for romance is never easy when life gets in the way. Let's face it - ther are about a zillion things to distract us. It might be our jobs, the kids, the neighbors, a friend in needs, parents demanding our attention, our favorite television show, a hobby - the list can go on forever.

But when it comes right down to it, we have to make a choice to find time for romance. It doesn't have to be a full out, two hour long love making sessions. Romance can fit into little spots during the day and if you are consistent, when two hours are available those love making sessions are that more enjoyable.

Ways to fit romance into a hectic day:

~ Sit down with your partner for just five minutes and REALLY listen to them; hold their hand or touch them as you do so.
~ Write them a note before you leave the house and leave it somewhere where they will find it - doesn't have to be sexy or naughty; a simple "I Love You" will do the trick.
~ Remind the of something special from your past like the smell of the flowers in your honeymoon suite or that dress she wore when you went to that backyard barbeque before you got married. Your partner will know that you remember and are thinking about them.
~ Give them a five minute back rub when the most need it.
~ Touch often - a caress, a hug, fingers running through the hair; all of these are appreciated, even more so when you aren't specifically looking to get some!
~ Rent the movie you know your partner REALLY wants to see.
~ Run out at midnight to get that special thing they are craving - chocolate, Pepsi, whatever.

And most of all, remember that this applies to the guys AND the girls! Romance isn't gender specific.

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Wicked Winter Escapes Contest

Wicked Winter Escapes

Okay writers, winter will be here before we know it so let's get things heated up with another contest! I want to know how you keep things heated up in the bedroom (or in any other room of the house or outside or…whatever turns you on)! I want something that's going to steam up the windows and make things combust into flames.

The rules are simple:
Make it HOT!
500 words or less.
It should take place in the winter.
You must be 18 years of age to enter this contest.

Absolutely NO bestiality, incest, sex with minors, or extreme violence!

Prizes? Of course there are prizes!

FIRST PRIZE: $25 and a free e-book
SECOND PRIZE: $15 and a free e-book
THIRD PRIZE: $10 and a free e-book
** Honorable mentions may be chosen to receive a free e-book at our discretion.

Submissions to the contest should be sent to with "contest" in the subject line.

By submitting your story in the contest you must agree to allow Inky Blue Allusions to publish your story on the site and use it for promotional purposes if it is chosen as one of the winner or for an honorable mention.

Contest Deadline: November 30th, 2007

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I'd like your essay for inclusion in THE BLUSHING LADIES JOURNAL .


1. Male and Female Authors of Erotica and Erotic Romance are invited to write an essay.

2. Straight, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender - it doesn't matter.

3. This isn't fiction. This isn't about your stories. This is about YOU! I want the truth!

4. Maximum word count: 500 words.

5. Provide your Author Name and Website Address to post next to your essay so that I can promote you. No Anonymous! If you don't want readers to know you wrote the essay - this isn't for you!

6. Submit your essay to Put BLUSHING in the subject line.

7. Submit your essay by Thursday, October 18. TRUE EROTIC TALES, Series 2 will appear on Sunday, October 21.

8. If you submitted to the first TRUE EROTIC TALES feel free to submit again. An essay is rejected only if it is not on topic.

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Sunday, September 23, 2007



TRUE EROTIC TALES are non-fictional erotic essays written by authors of today.

Are you a Top, a Bottom or a Switch?

Top, Bottom, Switch - Definitions

Author K.M. Frontain
K.M. Frontain's
Home Page

Top, bottom, or switch? When I write, I'm a switch. I am any of the characters in the novel, including the evil ones, the ones that don't take no for an answer, the ones a reader might want to chuck in a dungeon and never let out.

I'm also the nice characters, the ones who get bitten for being too gullible, that could do with pinching, who should know better than to trustingly stick their arms out while someone is holding a rope. I'm the braver characters as well, the ones that put their arms out on purpose just to see what it's like, who will kick ass later if they don't enjoy what happens next.

And I'm the characters that beg to be tied, who want a lesson to make them feel alive, who need someone else to take the burden of control.

In reality, I'm a top. Perhaps I am every character during the moment of story creation, but beyond the fourth wall, I exist to make them live through hard lessons, to feel alive, and to remove from them the burden of control. I'll whip a dominating character as quickly as a submissive one. I give them all hell.

In reality, I'm a "secret" top because I try not to give hell to anybody, though sometimes I do anyhow. I'll make up for it after, just like I do in my stories. The nice guys win. I'm a secret top who likes a happy ending.

But if you really can't be happy without some rope, chains and leather, do kneel and hold out your arms.

Author Gwen Masters
Gwen Master's

From the moment my first lover ordered me to hold onto the headboard so he could tie me up, I reveled in the joy of submission. From that point on, I loved dominant men. I sought them out like a moth seeking a light. I craved giving myself over, offering everything, pushing all my boundaries, all for a man's pleasure.

I was certain I was a Bottom -- until the night a lover asked me to turn the tables. When that moment came, I wasn't sure what to do. I was entirely out of my element, uncomfortable with the very thought. It was the biggest boundary of all, but no safe word would make this one go away. The emotional quagmire he put me in was scary as hell, and I resented him so much, I was afraid it would destroy our relationship.

After much thought and discussion, I decided to give it a try. It took a great deal of time and encouragement for me to move forward into being the dominant force, but once I was there, it was like fitting a key into a lock. It was the door to a whole new world, a realm of sexuality I had seen only from a distance, a place I had never imagined for myself. The rush was beyond anything I had ever felt.

When that night was over, I was completely confused. I still loved being a Bottom but I loved being a Top -- oh, Lord, did I love it just as much? Talk about an emotional tailspin!

Over time I found a good balance, and now can move smoothly from domination to submission and back again. I can find that mental niche and slip into it as though I was always meant to be a Top -- or a Bottom. Now I'm comfortable with my role as a true Switch. I love the power play of both sides, the carefully orchestrated dance that brings pleasure to not only the body, but to the mind and soul.

Author Liam Moran
Liam Moran's

When I first came out, I always had to be on top. It seems so alien to me now to reach back to that mind-set, so arbitrarily narrow. Fortunately for me, it was just a growth stage-I am certain now it was my own homophobia that insisted I be "the man" in bed. After all, I'd been "the man" in my marriage-bed, and with a number of women lovers before I'd finally married.

Maybe it was memories of college-days experimentation that could only be classified as being raped. Maybe it was just societal brainwashing. I don't know about others, but I know it was fear that dictated I be on top-fear that I would somehow become less than, if I gave up my body and let a man fuck me. In fact, the fiercer the bed-tussle to end up on top, the more satisfying the sex was to me. I say sex, because at that point I wasn't ready for love in my new life. Not really. I didn't yet understand how exquisitely beautiful give and take could actually be between two men.

One night, with a stranger, there was no bed-tussle. In fact there was no contest at all. The atmosphere between the two of us was quiet, gentle, whole. Somehow-I couldn't even tell you exactly how-it became absolutely clear that I was going to let him inside my body. He was huge. He was gentle. He opened me to an entirely new dimension of intimacy, and showed me the ecstasy that was possible in that new dimension. He changed me, and I'll be forever grateful to him for changing me.

Now, when a man enters me I feel a profound wave of completion that comes no other way. I love being a bottom. I love the crush of a man's weight against me as he takes possession of my body. Sometimes when I come with him inside me, I feel my body split open from throat to dan tien, and my soul explodes into stars before returning to my flesh-fuller, richer, stronger, wiser. There is absolutely nothing that compares.

Does that make me a bottom? Although that's my strong preference, it's not an exclusive one. I would never want to lose the ecstasy of being a top, either. Holding the trust of another man as I prepare him, enter him, take him, feel his legs wrap tight around me, feel his body welcome me in, enfolding me in his heat-why would I not want that, too? A man's eyes change when he is entered. I love that look.

So what does that make me? Depending on the situation, top? Yes. Bottom? Yes. Switch? Yes. I'm just a man who loves men, loves men's bodies, loves their beauty, and taste, and smell and feel.

Author Hazel Mills
Hazel Mills'

The determination of whether I am top, bottom or switch is not hard at all. Although for some, always assuming either the dominant or submissive role is preferred, sex is much more interesting as a switch. Switch allows each partner to have the freedom of choice. Choices that will allow my lover and I to be different things to each other based on our needs and desires. It is sex without boundaries or limitations. It also re-enforces a balance of power.

There are days when I want my man to be the one in charge sexually. The whole Tarzan and Jane scenario can be a beautiful thing. There is something definitely exciting and orgasmic about being submissive and bending, literally and figuratively, to his will. When I want him to make love to me, it is always with the acceptance of his dominant role.

Aphrodite, Queen of the Nightie also rules in the bedroom or in whatever room of the house she chooses. To have my man submit to my will and to know that his manhood is not threatened by my dominance provides a high that is unmatched by any drug.

Do we always adventure into lovemaking knowing who will be top or bottom? No, not always. Most times, we don't choose at all. We simply allow nature to take its course. We rule our universe together.

Giving and receiving is, I believe, the basis of any successful and truly fulfilling intimate relationship.

Author Jodi Payne
Jodi Payne's

I'm a switch, and I couldn't imagine being any other way. I like variety, I like spontaneity. I like having fun while I'm having my needs met, whatever they may be on a given day.

Why? That's a difficult question to answer succinctly. In no particular order, I'm an author, a mother, a partner, a daughter. I'm a lesbian and an activist. I'm a full time professional in a corporate setting. I'm a friend, a Leo and an abuse survivor. I think I've got a lot of dimensions to my personality and in order to keep all the hats I wear happy, things need to be changed up emotionally, and in the bedroom now and then.

Sometimes I'm in a strong mood and I want to take control. Expressing that during sex ranges for me from just being an aggressive lover to actually being demanding and "Toppy", physically and verbally. On the other hand, occasionally I want to be taken care of. I want to be romanced and seduced, I want to hand over the control to my partner. Again, that ranges for me from just being more passive, to accepting demands, to physically being restrained in some way.

I'm fortunate enough to have a partner that feels the same way I do. I've always enjoyed a wide and varied sex life. We have toys and props, which sometimes get use, and sometimes not. I enjoy everything from romance to role play, and why not? I have twice the fun, I'm never expected to be one kind of lover or another with my partner, and I'm never sure quite what to expect from her. We've been in a committed relationship for seven years and we're both very satisfied-on many levels.

Author Bobby Michaels
Bobby Michaels'

At the bottom of my e-mails, even below the listings of my books and my website, is a statement by a French philosopher who I long ago forgot his name. The statement he made, however, I could never forget:

"The most exquisite pleasure is giving pleasure to others."

This is not just my "e-mail signature", it is the motto of my life. I love giving pleasure to others, through my writings, through other artistic expressions, through helping others who need it. But beyond all this, is the sexual pleasure I reserve only for other males.

The term "cocksucker" is used as a pejorative. I stand proudly and tell you that not only am I a cocksucker, I'm the best fucking cocksucker you've ever met! More, I'm the best damned rim artist (if you male and don't know what rimming is, you're probably straight and I feel sorry for you.) around. After all, I'm not known as RimPig (another of my author names) for nothing.

I have nothing against guys who are Tops. Are you kidding? I LOVE guys who are Tops. Because I pair up very nicely with them. We know how to treat each other, we know what to expect, mostly, from each other, and I know there is not a Top on earth who plays with other guys that I can't make feel good.

Nor do I have anything against mostly straight guys who want to take a little "walk on the wild side" and see how good a cocksucker I am and learn what rimming is and why he will love it. A male is a male, no matter what he calls himself (or doesn't). I love to give males pleasure. Period.

You see, I've spent a lot of years (no, I won't tell you how many!) honing my "craft" and learning how to make a man feel good. That makes me feel good. It also, oftentimes, makes him grateful enough to make sure that I get pleasure for my efforts as well.

There are those who feel that being a bottom is giving up my "male power". Oh really? When some guy has his most precious appendage in my mouth with all those sharp teeth and I'm deciding how fast or slow to get him off, who the fuck do you think has the power?

And I haven't even talked about how I love the feel of a Top's cock sliding deep inside me. That may seem like I'm giving up "power", too. But stop and think, without my willing ass, he'd be jacking off.

Author Kelly M. Marshall
Kelly M. Marshall's

I discovered my dominant side first. In high school, I would pounce and tackle boys to the ground or bed and gain the upper hand before they had a chance to think. Most of the guys I dated really liked this aspect of our interactions, and didn't question my motives for making the first move. Tying them up and ordering them around really gave them a thrill, and I felt safe. I realized later that it was an act of self-protection. By dominating the boy, I could decide who touched whom and where, and how. It was this way that I earned the reputation of a promiscuous cock-tease; the girl who would fuck with your brains but wouldn't let you fuck her. It wasn't until halfway through high school that I realized I was a lesbian.

When I dated my first girl halfway through high school, my emotional armor loosened a little. Sex started to feel like a mutual sharing,instead of a dance of expectations and deflections. I was still the aggressor, but in a sideways, insinuating way. Dominating women gave me a window of pleasure, but still let me have that safety net of control. Often, I staged scenes where I was the submissive, but still orchestrating the minutiae of the scene. Looking back, I must have been such a pain in the ass to top!

I remember one occasion where I handed my girlfriend a blindfold and asked her to put it on me, then I lay on the floor and held onto the futon frame, as if bracing myself for an unknown impact. My rules to myself were that I wasn't allowed to remove my hands from the futon frame or take off the blindfold, and I would let my girlfriend do whatever she liked to me. It was excruciating, lying still and waiting for her touch. I experienced my first hint of subspace as she teased me and responded to my verbal prompts with gentle cajoling. These moments were few and far between as I grew into a young adult and took more lovers.

It wasn't until my most recent relationship that I fully realized my identity as a switch. It's strange, because it was a foray into the unknown from the get-go: it was my first concrete experience with polyamorous relationships. Already I was out of my depth, and forced to live in the moment. She was a switch like me. One day, she turned to me and said, "Sometimes I just want to let this fierceness out, to beat you when we fuck. You never let me." I looked at her, astounded. And then I replied, "I would let you."

We started negotiating the scene with some trepidation. We set limits, and a safe word, and started to play. I was wholly unprepared for this ecstatic sense of surrender that enveloped me when I followed her orders and let her spank me. It was a high that rivaled the rush of domination, yet was an entirely different sensation. I loved it.

I think this was the key to owning my submissiveness: I had to learn to trust my lover with this vulnerability. So I did, and was finally able to reap the amazing rewards.

Author Angela Cameron
Angela Cameron's

I am thoroughly a novice in the ways of The Scene. I only know the basic terms, but I feel a fondness for those who claim the lifestyle freely. Does this qualify someone to claim the title of top, bottom or switch? I believe so. And, since it does, I must claim the title of switch.

I am from the Bible Belt, raised in a strictly Christian home, and I grew up thinking sex was bad. In fact, I spent much of my adult life up to the age of about twenty-eight it in some way or another. Then, in a drive toward self-exploration, I discovered that I love being a bottom. Being held down, tied, and to even experience a little rough treatment on occasion sparks passions in me that I didn't realize existed a few short years ago. On the occasion that my husband pulls my hair or bites me, it is an extra special treat. These little acts make me feel safe, sexy, feminine, loved, and desired. I don't exactly know why or how it does, but it does.

My husband, being the alpha male that he is, makes a wonderful counterpart for this fetish of mine. However, being a bossy, stubborn, and sadistic woman at times, I also take particular pleasure in matching or dominating him. Even when we play wrestle, he gets me into some painful contortion, but I tearfully continue to refuse surrender. This side of my personality could never let anyone win, especially a man. Of course, I fantasize about doing more, and I'd love to slap him in the face. Maybe that's a bit of marital frustration talking, I don't know.

Either way, this part of my personality scares me. I fear - no I know - that if I start indulging in this part of me, the part of me that likes to hurt people, it will be very hard to stop. Besides, I don't think he'd enjoy any real degree of pain. So, for now, this particular door is one that is better left closed in my life.

Some might ask why these seemingly opposite behaviors heat me up so. I can't honestly say that I know. As former psych student, I must consider the fact that I come from a very abusive childhood. That simple fact adds a multitude of possible dimensions. However, it also puts very strong limits on what is okay for me in these same areas. For example, I endured so many beatings until age of sixteen that the idea of belts or being whipped terrifies me. As an adult, the crack of a belt makes me nauseous and tearful. On the other side, the idea of beating someone to any degree has a strange appeal to it. For me, I don't think that even Freud can give exact reasons why being a switch is so perfect for me. It simply is, like yin and yang.

Author Secondhand Rose
Secondhand Rose's

I'm not really into labels -- I can admit to their purpose, especially when searching for a story, some information or even someone -- but I tend to think more in roles. And roles are flexible, situational, can be changed.

Just as a one-dimensional character is a rather boring read, so a labeled person makes for a very boring lay. What makes humans so sexy is the complexity involved.

You have in this one man a powerful elected official who enjoys being bound, gagged and whipped, then takes it up the ass from his wife's strap on. The wife, who feels invisible in most of her life, save for her politically correct public appearances, loves making him grovel and beg to service her -- before she'll even consider giving him what he really wants. While these things are very common, they are also relatively predictable in a role reversal fashion. One's stress is relieved by this sort of power play; it's a form of balance.

For those who feel more in control of their lives, or at least more balance, power play is more about play. The roles change based on mood or the mood of their partners. Other times, balance is only felt when one gets what one needs, be it tied to sensory issues or images and needs instilled early in their lives. Who can tell?

And isn't the discovery of just what a person craves, and perhaps understanding why, most delicious? It feels like falling in love. Again and again.

Which is why I consider myself a Switchy Woman.

I don't just conform to needs, be they mine or those of another, but rather find playing the entire spectrum to be one way to keep the joy of discovery.

Author Bethan Alyson

Which way up is best? The view from the top is a good one, commanding, comprehensive, and generally, worth the effort. I mean, tops know that looking down you get the whole landscape, the panoramic perspective. What can I see from here, looking down? I see the planes and angles of a body cast partly into relief by a shaded lamp, the closed eyes, flesh waiting to be touched, tasted, impressed by my fingers.

Once, in a pub, I craned my head around to catch sight of the 'S&M dykes' my friend pointed out. I was curious, not shocked. Hungry. I had never tasted anything other than vanilla at that point. Years of experimentation and reading taught me some key issues. Tops like to be in control, to be the doers. Supposedly. Bottoms like to be dominated. Done to. The view from the bottom is limited, blinkered, constricted. It is a submission, asking the dominatrix to do the seeing and the thinking and the watching, while the submissive learns to relinquish.

Trouble is, I like both. I have read that a good top has to have once experienced life as a bottom. And that no one should take what they can't dish out. Therefore, it appears to me, that every top has to have some idea of the view from below, of the fear of the blindfolded caning, the swish, thud, burn of each stroke. In order to know how to time it, how to measure tolerance, pain threshold, which gasp precedes the safe word, and how to avoid it.

Experience is everything, so I would say that every good bottom also knows the effort and energy of the top, the timing and aching muscles and the intense arousal of watching the bottom's responses. The flushing of the skin.

There are times I need pain to climax, need an intensity in my own flesh. Times I want to relinquish my rigidly held control to another, in the purest and deepest trust, to be taken and driven and pushed and even punished. I want her to do me. There are others when I need to see her face as it twists in pain and pleasure. I want to watch her body writhe, her eyes dilate, and her breath quicken. I want to make her gasp. I want to know she is on the edge, right on the edge, and the next stroke, the next few seconds of restraint, the next touch of my hand, will carry her over, right over, plummeting to the deepest parts of herself. I want to be the one to have done that to her. For me, for the most part, that is enough.

When I want it back, and she can't give it, then the compensation is that the vanilla is the best kind, fresh and yet practised at the same time, skilled. If I ask, she will switch with me, but when it comes down to it, I'm still in control. As long as we're both saying yes, the view from the top is just fine.

Author Eve Cain
First published Story in
Beyond Desire

Fairytales are riddled with imagery of bondage and domination. A princess locked in a tower, a prince chained to a dungeon wall, a maiden bound wrist and ankle and slung over her captor's shoulder, a knight beaten and bloodied as he fights to free his love. Every story is a battle to win a life fulfilled by the soul's desire, where defeat would be utter devastation and where victory is always a hard-won prize attained through submission and sacrifice.

Was it the all-encompassing passion of these childhood fables that enchanted my soul? Was it a belief that grew from the idea that ecstasy of the heart could only be attained if you gave up everything? Everything but the knowledge that there was no hardship you could not endure because in the end love would always triumph, would always be waiting to soothe and protect and keep you safe forevermore. Such stories have always enthralled my imagination.

Perhaps this is the wellspring that fed my erotic desires. When I submit I am profoundly suffused with the quiet bliss I have always known when I close my eyes to dream of the passion or adventure of my favorite lifelong tales. When I am bound I am a maiden, coveted and captured. When I am tortured I am challenged to surrender my fears and trust in love. When I at long-last find my release it is always a hard-won prize. And when I feel my restraints loosened and my ordeal subsiding, when harsh touches have once again turned soothing and aggressive voices give way to lulling tones, when I open my eyes to the caring and concerned gaze of my lover...The end of a beautiful scene will always find me floating in an enchanting world of happily ever after.

So why am I a bottom, what exactly feeds my passion? I may never truly know. However it is beyond doubt that such submission lies at the very heart of my soul's desire. Thus I will present myself vulnerable and exposed and yet strong and determined over-and-again, for to know such fulfillment in this life is reason enough for me.

Author Jolene Hui
Jolene Hui's

I never really thought about how exactly I have sex until I started spending a large amount of my time writing erotica. Or maybe I mean how I prefer to have sex. Whatever way I mean it or however you look at it, I never looked at sex like I do now. I have the ability now to know exactly what I want how I want it and when I want control and when I don't want it. Writing about sex has put me in control of my pleasure.

When it comes to being a top, bottom, or switch, there is no question about it: I am most definitely a switch with the ability to take control as a top or relinquish control as a bottom. However, I find that I lean toward the bottom side of the spectrum. Giving over that control is one of the most exhilarating things I've ever done in my life. I love the feeling of being with someone who knows how to please me or wants to learn exactly how to please me. There's nothing sexier than a person who gets off while getting me off. Don't get me wrong, though, I also have fun taking over the situation when necessary.

Each sexual situation is different and each partner is different. It's funny that some people like to say that sex is just sex, but sex is never just sex. Sex is different with each partner and even with each partner sex can be different every time. That's what's so fun about being a switch, being able to adapt to each individual situation.

I find that I am open to all sorts of people and preferences so this gives me lots of chances to play. Sometimes it's fun to takeover the top with partners who want you to do so, but I find that more often I am with a partner who wants to be the top. I've thought about this quite a bit and I think that I find it so exciting to be a bottom because I am such an aggressive person in everyday life. I am one of the most assertive people I know and to be able to let that go in the bedroom is freeing to me. It's kind of nice and refreshing to be the bottom. An utterance of "Oh no, Jolene, let me do that for you," or even a "sit the fuck still while I tie your wrists down," will, most likely, get me going.

I think I should also specify that when I look at it, tops and bottoms are not necessarily fully dominant and fully submissive. There aren't rules that each person has to follow. I'm all about blurring the boundaries and tailoring to each person. It's all about playing. And who doesn't like playtime?

Author Jolie du Pre
Jolie du Pre's

When I'm with a bi-curious female I'm a teacher, which translates to a Top. That's what she expects. There have been exceptions, like the time a young, cute, African American femme, with big, natural boobs and an infectious sense of humor initiated contact by slowing kissing my neck. "I don't know what I'm doing," she whispered. "You're doing just fine," I whispered back. Later, as I trailed my lips down her naked body, she demanded to top and she wouldn't take "no" for an answer. Her curiosity was similar to mine during my first girl on girl experience. I was so nervous my knees were shaking, but once I gained confidence the knees stop shaking and I wanted to top, eager to do all the things I had dreamed of doing to a woman.

I'm a strong, confident woman, and some women want me to top because of my personality. I was in a threesome with such a woman. She responded to me like a newbie, even though she had been with plenty of women before me. As I topped her I made her squirt, which made me want to strut like a rooster. It was interesting to watch her transform from a Bottom to a Top when she got with her husband. Yet, it was a reaction to what he demanded for the scene, not her true nature.

I've been a Bottom with almost every man except my husband. And even then, I'm only a Top when my husband asks me to be or if I'm really in that mood. I'm not comfortable topping a man. I need him to be in control. But, like always in my life, there have been exceptions. I was with this tall, muscular African American male who stuttered when he spoke. In my mind, my alphas don't have speech impediments. So I topped him, with his big, stiff cock in my mouth, for twenty minutes, because I wanted it, not because he told me what to do. (He didn't complain.)

I'm a Bottom with any lesbian who identifies as butch. When I'm with a butch, just like when I'm with a man, I want her to be in control. This has never been a problem. The butch women I've dated not only wanted to top me, they wanted to hold doors open for me, buy me things, beat up guys who flirted with me, and marry me. (If they could.) But I also date femmes and when I do they are the type that are just as assertive as I am. Therefore, we switch. I'll top a femme and then she'll top me.

So if you insist on a label for me, type Bisexual, Polyamorous, Switch with your label maker, and use the pretty pink tape that I like.

Graphic -
Glitter Graphics

Be on the look out for Series 2 of TRUE EROTIC TALES, where authors offer new essays to a new question.

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Sunday, September 9, 2007

Historical Themed Fiction by R V Raiment

An excerpt from an historical work, Chasse au Lapins (Rabbit Hunt), set at the time of the French Revolution, by R V Raiment:
Madeleine, auburn-haired, already stands naked save for her hat. Cool air caresses her skin, raises goose-bumps, a thrill of eagerness aches in her loins. Precious small swellings, tinglings and murmurs of moistness flutter in her breeze-kissed valley between her warm pink thighs.

A shout: "Allons!" and laughing, giggling, twenty naked 'bunnies' race the central path and enter the vast enclosed garden. The maze its entrance, the garden comprises gently undulating greens criss-crossed with miniature dells and valleys and dotted with hollows, close-planted coppices, shrubberies and rocky outcrops.

Children might delight in the thousand hiding places and the myriad avenues of escape from each, but children do not play here. There are too many things here which maman et papa might not wish to explain - the statues, in particular. Of men and women, singly or in small groups, and carved with poignant intimacy of detail, these have few echoes in antiquity. Here a naked maiden bends, undressing, every nuance of her alabaster buttock-cleft and vulva etched in the engraving, a patina on each from much caressing. Here reposes soixante-neuf in stone, here stands naked Mercury, cock in a goddess's mouth, and, in an arbour, a miniature temple to Bacchanalian gods.
Find out more about the author and why he writes historical erotica in this interview ~ and discover more goodies from R V Raiment at the author's website,

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ATTENTION: Erotica Authors!

ATTENTION: Erotica Authors!

I'd like your essay for inclusion in The Blushing Ladies Journal.

Are you a TOP, a BOTTOM or a SWITCH? And WHY?

1. Male and Female Authors of Erotica invited to write an essay.

2. Straight, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender - it doesn't matter.

3. This isn't fiction. I want the truth!

4. Maximum word count: 500 words.

5. Provide your Author Name and Website Address to post next to your essay so that I can promote you. No Anonymous! If you don't want readers to know you wrote the essay - this isn't for you!

6. Submit your essay to Put BLUSHING in the subject line.

7. Submit essays by Saturday, September 22.


Clip Art Source - Glitter Graphics

Safe, Sane, and Consensual?

My lesbian erotica has included a few stories that have a BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Masochism) theme. My favorite is "She" in Hot & Bothered 4.


In that room she stood there. Everywhere I went, she followed me with her eyes. She walked up to me, the only other black in the room, and said, "Get me a drink." I didn't know her and she didn't know me. But she told me to get her a drink, and I did.

Later, at her house, she placed me face down on her bed, my wrists and ankles tied. She reached into a chest, removed a paddle, and whacked my bare bottom until I cried out in pain.

"Come back at six tomorrow," she said.

"Can't I come later?" I asked. "I have a meeting at six."

"No," she said. "I said six. Don't disappoint me."

I remember staring at a bunch of papers while at work, the day after she spanked me, the same day she wanted me to meet her at six, and feeling the pain lingering on my ass. Glorious.

(An excerpt from "She" by Jolie du Pre in Hot and Bothered 4. )

For BDSM to be true BDSM, everything needs to be Safe, Sane and Consensual. We hear this all the time, but do we know what it really means? To explain, here's an article on Safe, Sane and Consensual.

Safe, Sane, and Consensual(SSC)

The big question asked by people who are thinking of getting into BDSM play; "Is this normal?" To answer a question with another question; "Is sexual exploration normal?" The answer is yes; humans are always progressing to create a bigger, better world so why shouldn't they strive to create bigger, better, sore satisfying sexual experiences?The big question you SHOULD be asking about any of your BDSM play is; "Is this SAFE, SANE, and CONSENSUAL?"

"Safe" means you will not injure or bring physical harm to others and yourself. Those who are into rougher forms of play, S&M activities such as spanking and flogging, should not be discouraged because this refers to knowing your limits as well as the limits of your partner(s). Even if your partner suggests another slap with the paddle, be aware that he/she could be "flying" and you should keep a grasp of what your partner is truly capable of handling. A player sometimes gets so caught up in a BDSM activity he/she enters a trance-like state or a state of unrealistic euphoria called flying that can be caused by a combination of rushing endorphins or the intensity of the experience. This mystical or trance-like experience is why BDSM is sometimes referred to as Sexual Magic. Players should check-in with each other every now and then during play to keep the activities safe.

"Sane" in reference to BDSM means understanding the person you are playing with. You do not want to do or say anything to harm your partner(s) emotionally or psychologically. A player should not wind up in the psych ward based on another player's actions or attitude during play. Humiliation is a part of some Domination and Submission play; this is fine as long as the person receiving this type of play consents to the aspects of his/her life, personality, and appearance that will be subject to humiliation. If one player is into "play rape" (and this does not mean a desire to be sexually assaulted or assault another person in real life), that player needs to know if his/her partner would be uncomfortable with that type of play. This brings us back to consent.

"Consent" is reiterated because it is essential for all BDSM activities to be successful. You must have pre-established, explicit consent about all aspects of a session before anyone can start. It is the responsibility of each player to convey what he/she wants and does not want to happen in a scene. If you are the Dom playing in a scene and are not sure about the consent of something you want to do to your Sub, then wait until the scene is over to ask if you can do it the next time. If youre not sure, don't do it; this is a good rule to go by in this context, especially for inexperienced players.

So if everything you want to do in your BDSM experience is SAFE, SANE, and CONSENSUAL, proceed and make your kinky fantasies your realities.

Article Source - Erotic Sex Toys

Clip Art Source - Glitter Graphics

Jolie du Pre is a writer of lesbian erotica and lesbian erotic romance.

Music for blogging - Marilyn Manson

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Sunday, September 2, 2007


Inside Jolie's Head - 9/2/2007

Currently, I'm reading Entangled Lives, edited by Marilyn Jaye Lewis. I will be writing a full review of the book at my other blog, but a part of the book has prompted this entry.

Entangled Lives is a memoir of seven top erotica writers. In Marilyn's "A Picture in a Frame," she talks about "E," a woman she had a relationship with for 20 years. During part, or perhaps all, of the relationship (I don't remember which) E had a girlfriend. So, E was having an affair with Marilyn. Marilyn never says whether she felt any shame or guilty feelings about sleeping with another woman's woman, but for me, affairs are wrong.

It's not that I haven't fooled around. I've been with my husband for over 20 years. Seven of those years as girlfriend and boyfriend and 20 of those years as a married couple. When I was in my 20's, before we had our now 16 and 13 year old children, I won a cruise to the Bahamas. I was married, but I was young and carefree with no middle aged weight gain, no perimenopause, no kids. As I stood in line waiting to embark, one of the crew asked me who I was cruising with. He was a very attractive brown skinned man from Amsterdam. I told him no one and his eyes lit up. "Oh," he said. Later, he called my room and we had sex. Yes, it is entirely wrong for a staff member to have sex with one of the passengers, and he obviously jotted down my room number so that he would have my phone number. But wrong or not, that's what happened. The next day I went to a bar, located on the ship, and met a white guy from London. (Since I was a slut the night before, I figured I'd be a slut again.) All of this was behind my husband's back. That was the first time.

The second time was with one of the women I dated. (I was very open with my husband about being bisexual, from day one. In fact, one of my female ex-lovers came to our wedding.) This woman I dated had a husband that wanted to be involved. This was against the rules I had set with my husband. As a bisexual woman, it was okay for me to be with a woman, but not another man. My husband was supposed to be the only man.

The third and last time was with my most recent female ex-lover. I wasn't supposed to get with her again after we broke up. I got myself into a situation where I was spending too much time with her. It's always been a situation where the relationship with my husband was primary and women were secondary. But my relationship with this woman took a lot of my time emotionally and physically. Before her I had not had a relationship with a female for five years, so my husband wasn't prepared for what my relationship with her would do to my relationship with him. I broke it off, but then I got back together with her behind his back.

Today, I am happy that these situations are over and that my husband knows everything now. When Marilyn talks about her affair with E, I have to put the fact that it was an affair deep in the recesses of my brain in order to enjoy the story. There's a scene where Marilyn is confronted by E's lover.

Unbeknownst to E, her lover had already confronted me once, taking me aside in the lobby of their building one night, telling me in no uncertain terms, all two hundred towering pounds of her, that if she ever found out that I was fucking around with E, I was going to be in serious trouble. And I believed her. I didn't stop fucking around with E, but nevertheless, I believed her.

I'm sure E's lover knew the truth, yet she made the decision to stay anyway.

What's nice about being 45 is that I've had a life. I've had relationships. I went for what I wanted and I got it. I don't crave anything (other than Soledad O'Brien), so that part is simpler. Now I'm a bisexual woman who writes lesbian erotica and who is living a primarily heterosexual, monogamous life. If I want to have sex with someone other than my husband, it's out in the open. The same goes for him. I regret cheating on him and I regret the dishonesty. An open, honest relationship is so much healthier.

What are your thoughts on infidelity? Make it anonymous if you want.
Jolie du Pre is a writer of lesbian erotica and erotic romance.
Music for blogging - Carrie Underwood

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