Sunday, January 20, 2008

Ten Commandments for 2008

The year 2008 is here. Working to achieve these 10 habits may be difficult, but they're worth a try.

1. Thou shalt not put off until tomorrow what could be done today.

There's that email you have yet to answer, the laundry that's been sitting in the basket waiting to be folded, the knob on the cabinet that needs to be tightened. We avoid certain tasks because we don't feel like doing them. But the more we procrastinate, the more things pile up. Decide to make time to attack tasks when they occur instead of putting them off.

2. Thou shalt leave for work ten minutes earlier.

Today you were late for work, and yesterday too. Every day you vow to be on time, yet every day you're late. Your boss has grown to accept it, but for how long? If you left for work earlier, you'd arrive on time. Decide to do what it takes to make it to work on time. Set the time on your clock behind a few minutes. Don't touch your snooze alarm. Lay your clothes out the night before.

3. Thou shalt eat one cookie instead of four.

Diets are a temporary solution, but what about long term? Moderation is much more feasible for many of us. But we sabotage moderation all the time with gluttony. We stuff ourselves with sweets and then promise not to do it again, but soon we break our promise. Let's treat ourselves to sweets, but let's keep the consumption reasonable.

4. Thou shalt read an intelligent book.

We haven't read Faulkner. We say we want to. So why do we always end up on the path of least resistance with a quickie paperback or a mindless magazine? We're tired and Faulkner takes work. So - work. Buy a study guide. Join a book club and suggest a title. Feed your brain for once.

5. Thou shalt not buy another needless pair of shoes.

Our closet is full of them. Every time we feel a bit down, we buy a pair of shoes. When we need some excitement in our day - we buy a pair of shoes. We wear the shoes. We feel good. But soon the novelty wears off and the only way to bring it back is to buy another pair of shoes. We could use that money to pay off our credit cards. We could use that money to save. And we want to. We really do. So the next time we're tempted to make an impulse buy, let's look at why and let's determine if the money we're about to spend on shoes could be spent on better things.

6. Thou shalt not gossip.

Talking about a person behind their back feels good. It makes us feel better about ourselves, especially when others agree with our opinion. But it's negative and loads of negative conversation make for a negative person. Let's vow to take the high road and leave gossip behind.

7. Thou shalt pay more attention to the kids.

It's so easy to pop in a video and sit the kids in front of the tv. It gets even easier with teenagers. They just retreat on their own. But your kids won't be kids forever and quality time is important. Children need attention, even when they act like they don't. Get off the computer, stop cleaning the house and spend some time with your kids.

8. Thou shalt eat more fruits and vegetables.

Are you a connoisseur of fruits and vegetables? Great. Eighty nine percent of adults are not. Instead of reaching for that bag of chips, grab an apple. Hate apples? Make it a pear. Make a salad. Buy pre-cut carrots, cut and washed lettuce, or any other vegetables that will make it easy to throw everything together. If you never eat fruits and vegetables, start with small amounts and work your way to more.

9. Thou shalt do one good deed just because.

How many times do we do something for someone even when nobody knows it? Find one thing you can do without all the accolades. Donate money as anonymous. Shovel the neighbor's snow when they're not home.

10. Thou shalt tell your wife or husband that you love them.

You love your wife, but when was the last time you told her? Look your spouse in the eyes and say "I love you" often.

Jolie du Pre is a full-time published freelance writer and author and editor of erotica. She is pleased to be returning to The Blushing Ladies Journal.


Friday, January 18, 2008

High-Five Fridays #1

Giving High-Fives to five cool erotic written works which are free to read on the web ~ if you are old enough and in the mood to do so...

#1 Cum For Teacher, by Angela St. Lawrence

#2 The Valet of Vicksburg, by A E Franzen

#3 Your Figurine, by Isabel Blyss

#4 Mondays Suck, by Shon Richards

#5 Low-Down, Stanky, Hurry-Up Love, by Timothy N. Stelly, Sr.

Find out how to give your High-Five Fridays here!

The purpose of this meme is to give high-fives to 5 people, posts, blogs and/or websites you've admired during the week. I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 5 high-fives on Friday. Trackbacks, pings, linky widgets, comment links accepted!

Visiting fellow High-Fivers is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your High-Fives in others comments (please note if NWS).

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Tuesday, January 15, 2008

TMI For Couples?

This week's TMI Tuesday questions are from my list of conversation starters for couples as posted in my 13 Ways To Use What You Have To Build Intimacy.

Thanks Slip of a Girl for sending them in. *smile*

I've posted my replies here ~ and since these are supposed to be conversation starters, please join the conversation!

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Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Autumn's First Wet Wednesday

Welcome to my first Wet Wednesday. Wet Wednesday are fun little questions that give you some guiding points for discussion and for revealing a bit of yourself. If you'd like to participate in your own blog you'll find Wet Wednesday here.

1. in the book cougar: a guide for older women dating younger men by valerie gibson, ms. gibson states that the typical cougar-prey age difference is six years. would you date - or have you ever dated - someone at least six years your junior?
I never have dated someone that much younger although I did always used to date guys a few years younger than I was. If I weren't married though I'd be a total cougar. Especially if I wasn't looking to get married.

2. what is the largest age difference between you and a paramour? who was older?
The largest difference in any relationship is my current one. My husband is 7 years older than I am.

3. what would you say to your friend if he/she was carrying on with a friend of their child? is this ever acceptable to you? why or why not?
I think people should do whatever makes them happy. I've known a few people who had a difference of more than 5 years between them and they've been very happy - and yes, she was older than him. Age really doesn't matter if you love each other.

But what about if you're just messing around. Well, the younger the better as far as I'm concerned. One of the best candidates for messing around in a non-committed relationship is a younger man. They aren't out for marriage, they don't care if you see other people, they have no hang ups. So, as long as both parties are old enough and mature enough to be in a relationship/messing around then it's no one's business but their own.

However, if it is a friend of your kid that you're messing around with you should take your kid's feelings into consideration. And know that if you don't think about it it could make a mess out of your relationship with your child. Is it worth that?

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Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Sugasm #113

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #114? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
A Different Kind Of Authority For Sex Bloggers
“As we sex workers, sex bloggers, and adult business folks swim in our ponds or spin in our micro universes & connect with others, we continue to build authority.”

Of sex and strippers
“At one point she was straddling Girlfriend’s right leg, grinding her thigh against Girlfriend’s clit through her jeans.”

Wink Wink, Nudge Nudge
Her comments were something to the effect of, “No one wanted to see me twirl with tassels ~ on fire or not ~ when some girl was going to sit on stage and insert things into herself.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself

Editor’s Choice
Interview with Paul Festa about circumcision

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

Erotic Writing and Experiences
Aurel Sex. - The Husband
Cock Whore
Dreams are funny things
The Erotic Review
I Love A Rainy Night
The night I was initiated on Frat Row
Opera Glasses
Skin, breath, desire, rhythm
Yesterday’s Sweet Blowjob

Sex Work
Catalina loves Giving Spankings

NSFW Pics & Videos
Mizuki Horii
Andie Valentino (Twistys)
Half-Nekkid Thursday: View from MY Back Row
Mindy Main Sexy and Topless
A Very Shibari New Year From Marky D. Sade

Sex Advice
13 Ways To Use What You Have To Build Intimacy
Celebrate 2008: The Year of the Pussy!
Just Seeing My Girlfriend Turns Me On! Is This Normal?!
Resolve to Improve Your Sex Life in 2008

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
2007 Wanking Totals
Discovering the Art of Masturbation
I fucked this guy once …without dirty talk!?!
Taking One For the Team

Sex News, Reviews & Interviews
The Hello Kitty Vibrator - Battery-Powered Evil!!!
Panties Second Only To Auto Industry
Real Doll Rentals
Working Sex: Sex Workers Write About a Changing Industry

BDSM & Fetish
All Tied Up and No Where To Go
Am I A Masochist?
Daddy Play
The Descent Begins
More piss slut practice
Rough Fuck
A Seven Orgasm Day
Who knew Uncle Sam was kinky?

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Saturday, January 5, 2008

Show & Tell Adult Meme: End Of The Year Edition

Sure to be cross-posted because I blog too darn much :p

1 What was your very favorite post you made this past year?

While I seem to enjoy making things 'all about me', and did author this question, in actuality this question makes me nervous...

But I'll go with Fantasy Vs. Reality: What Is Cheating? because it's still a very valid question/conversation. Feel free to keep it going by adding your own thoughts.

2 What post was the most effective post you made this past year? (Based on links to it, comments, emails, sales etc.)

Skanky Panties & The Business of Faux Fish Juices wins, hands down (no pun intended... maybe) because of the number of emails asking for everything from who I personally knew that was ethical to how much money could they make... And oh yeah, let's not forget the number of offers for my panties. (When offers run above $250, I may just consider it!)

3 What are three of your favorite posts/articles that you've read this past year? (Not your own, but the works of others.) And do tell us all why you selected them.

I know I wrote this question, but I fear it may get me killed by kittens, Sex Kittens that is :p So I'm just going to say, yet again, that all the Sex Kittens humble and awe me for their honesty, wit, humor, intelligence and desire to share with all of us.

And, should you be looking for more to read, check out what the kittens and tom cats are posting in the forum.

4 What was the most surprising thing you learned in 2007?

That people continue to prefer to email vs. posting comments, especially when it comes to sexual topics.

5 What was the most valuable thing or lesson you learned in 2007?

That flesh will remind you of the speed at which you can work. I was very ill this year and I'm working on being kinder to my being.

6 Is there anything you wanted to learn this past year that you did not? Why not? And are you going to make this a goal for 2008?

My goal to make sex more mainstream, which is nearly a decade long Internet struggle ~ and longer in the 'real world', has not been met.

It's a very large goal and I'm beginning to see the path more clearly, even written down some of the steps I'll need to take. I'm sure I'll announce them here as I achieve them, but I won't jinx them by listing them here.

It may take another decade. And I'm committed to it.

Optional (but worth 100 extra Marketing Whore Bucks lol): For most of us, guarding our identities means not taking/publishing photos, but I double-dog dare you to take some photo of yourself, crop it to remove what you think is necessary to keep your privacy but still gives something special (and hopefully naughty) of you away ~ and publish it on your blog.

To participate, see how here. Thanks :)

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Thursday, January 3, 2008

13 Ways To Use What You Have To Build Intimacy

Often in relationships, we feel we're stuck in a rut or otherwise complain our love lives have lost their luster and we turn to date nights or other expensive outings when what we really should be doing is stop the distractions and focus on each other. Now the holidays have mostly passed, we tend to stay inside & this makes it an excellent time to concentrate on building intimacy in our relationships.

Here are thirteen ways to use what we have to build intimacy and rekindle the passion in our relationships:

1 Spend time talking & listening to each other. Having a real conversation brings back that joy of discovery you once had. To some, this sounds too simple; but to this I say, "It's often the simplest things which are the best." To others having a conversation seems impossible. What could you possibly talk about? Avoid potentially threatening topics (you know, the ones that get you arguing) and return to the kinds of things you once talked about until the sun came up... Possibilities include:
If you could live in any home on a television series, what would it be?
If you had a clone, what would you make it do so you could have free time?
Who was your best friend when you were 8? When you were 13?
If you could travel anywhere, where would it be & why?
Would you hate loosing your sight or hearing most?
What's your favorite musical?
Nature or nurture?
What's your favorite/least favorite commercial?
What magazine have you always wanted a subscription to but forget about?
2 Put on that lingerie, dress, sweater or other outfit he gave you as a gift (this year, or ages ago). Men, you too; put put on that tie, tee or whatever she gave you. Not only does this let your lover know you appreciate it, but fulfills their fantasies of seeing you in it.

3 Read ~ together. Create a book club for two by talking about a book (or 10). You need not have two copies as each of you can take turns reading in your spare time, but agree that over the weekend or on Wednesday night, you'll talk about the book together.

4 Read ~ out loud. Be it a poem, a dirty story, or something from the newspaper funnies, read out loud to your lover what you love or what you think your partner will enjoy. (Women love to be read aloud to; and men may find this more fun than they thought if the subject matter is selected properly ~ or improperly! *wink*)

5 Cook a meal together. Open the cookbook, and make a new dish together. (OK, this may require a visit to the grocery store; but you'll have to get food at some point anyway...)

6 Turn off that TV and play a game.

7 If you must watch TV or a movie, remember to reach for & hold your partner's hand.

8 Write holiday 'thank you' cards together. Not only are you spending time together, but being grateful for your family & friends reminds you of the life you've built together. Your family & friends sure will appreciate it too.

9 Pamper your partner. Give her a pedicure; him a massage. Hand him the remote & sit topless at his feet. (And vice-versa are options too!) Do it 'just because', without any expectations, and with a smile.

10 Write love notes and place them where your partner is sure to find them. Don't just say, "I love you," tell them why you love them.

11 Write playful love notes & leave a trail of them, like a scavenger hunt. Start with one note where your partner is sure to find it ~ have part of it be a riddle or clue to where the next note is. When they follow all the clues and find all the notes, give them a reward. The reward can be as simple as a foot rub, as sexy as a oral sex, or as silly as a pudding cup; the point is to have fun!

12 Dress up, but stay home. Ladies, put on that fancy dress, those high heels, your makeup & special occasion perfume. Men, put on that shirt and tie and your cologne too. Light the candles, enjoy cocktails and dance together. Primping for one another makes both you both feel special ~ and sexy.

13 Do the Sunday crossword puzzle together in bed or at the breakfast table together. Alternately, if crosswords aren't your thing, get a bowl of strawberries (maybe some Cool Whip, just in case *wink*) and pour over a few magazines together and mock celebrities or ads.

So go ahead, give these a try ~ maybe you'll skip cabin fever and want to stay home with each other all the time! *wink*

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

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