Thursday, July 26, 2007

Author Richard V Raiment, Interview & Excerpt

Tell us a bit about yourself...

I write under the pen name R V Raiment, the initials R V R being (in my view) nicely balanced and more importantly the V Raiment making the French 'vraiment' as 'truly' or 'truthfully'. Unable to sustain myself by writing alone I work in a high school in the UK, supporting youngsters with autism. I live and work in the outskirts of London, a city I love and regularly visit.

My own marriage is ostensibly an open marriage in which both I and my partner are free to engage responsibly in physical and emotional relationships with others, though in practice we have found that life leaves little time or opportunity for such encounters and - more importantly - having the freedom actually makes us less inclined to exercise it.

What are your most common story themes?

This is a difficult question to answer as I have tried to write from a broad and varied perspective. I have tried to read outside my immediate comfort zone - which began as a sort of Alex Comfort Zone - and challenged myself to try to write good stories on themes suggested by that reading.

Much of what I write is set in the past, especially in the years and centuries up to around 1800 before women began wearing drawers :-) and I suppose it is mainly hetero since that reflects my own preoccupations. "Jessamie", my 2003 prizewinner at was written around toys and the relationship between two hetero sisters. "Ghosts of Christmas Past", published in Cream, The Best of the Erotica Readers and Writers Association is a hetero tale of sex, infidelity and regret. "Third Person Singular", in Maxim Jakubowski's Mammoth Book of Best New Erotica, volume 5 can only loosely be described as BDSM, I think, with gay male, lesbian and other threads woven into it.

My recent novel, Aphrodite Overboard, the Erotic Memoirs of a Victorian Lady, is a period piece, actually set around the time of the French Revolution and the Napoleonic Wars though the heroine lives on into Victoria's age. (The 'Victorian' reference was at the request of the marketers :-) In it the heterosexual castaway Lady Susanna is (happily) compelled to play a part which involves her extensively in both hetero and same sex encounters. That, too, is a fairly common thread in most of my stories, since they are written from a perspective which sees any form of sexual interaction between consenting and empowered adults as normal and legitimate.

Which of these words best describes your stories:

Intimate - Yes

Romantic - Yes

Hardcore - No, though explicit. Rarely if ever 'icky' :-)

Humorous - Not as part of a humorous 'genre', but I have a sense of humour which shows, especially in my longer work.

Adventurous - Yes

Fictional (more fantasy or fantastic than 'real life situations') - Real life, I think, in general, but not often 'everyday' life.

Erotic - I love the human body and soul, especially that of 'woman', the heaven's gate through which life is first found and afterward delivered, beautiful beyond description whether young or old. I write predominantly for women, their opening a story of mine implying a tacit consent and an inviolable contract of trust through which I may lovingly and gently caress them. I have never known a deeper pleasure than to receive words from a reader telling me; "I finished your book last night and went to sleep with a smile on my face".

Here's a snippet of "Ghosts of Christmas Past", copyright Richard V Raiment, which was featured in the anthology Cream: The Best of the Erotica Readers and Writers Association and is at ERWA's Treasure Chest:
Looking at the body warm in bed beside me I remember all I have known with my lovely Jodie and I stir, blood flooding warmly where it matters, soft-inflating. I've always woken Jodie the same way, since the first delightful morning of discovery when I found her asleep on her back, one leg diagonally outstretched, one knee drawn up, the lovely sweetness of her sex smiling pinkly open, inviting and sleepy warm.

Not this time, though. This morning is different. The body beside me in a bed still warm and musky with the scents of our sleep and Christmas Eve fucking lies with its legs still softly together, and the difference is poignant, bitterly emblematic of the change between us. Only she drank as much, perhaps, as I did, last night, and I can coax her gently apart without her even knowing.
You can find out more about Richard V Raiment at his website,, and in Open Marriage, Lipstick, and Low Necklines: R V Vrainment Discusses The Meaning Of Monogamy.

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Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Sugasm #89

The best of this week's blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #90? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you're all set.

This Week's Picks
"She performs astounding acts and swirls her perfect ass in circles, like the tassles on her tits."

Nylon Whispers
"I run my fingers along every bit of my nylon covered flesh"

No Timeless Beauty To Conform To
"While fashions themselves come and go, so do the standards of beauty rise and fall like the heaving breasts of an excited woman."

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Welcome to the Redesign

Editor's Choice
Catalina loves (sex in) Sevilla

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot's Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

NSFW Pics, Videos & Audio
Half-Nekkid and Asking for It
I Feel Myself
Lindsay Lohan Naked Pictures On Internet?
Professional dress code
Time For Tits

Erotic Writing and Experiences
Another Ride
Dirty Lace
A gay lesson
Joining the Half-Mile-High Club San Francisco, part 9
Office Masturbation - part 4
Postage Stamp Sex
Private Show pt. 1
Rape Fantasies
She Dancin' with a G

Sex News
Find Your Love Match Among Hegre Art's Models

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
BDSM Part II; etymolgy, history, psychology
Can you can can?
Fuck Your Fucking Ethics
The Glory That Is Myra Breckinridge
I wish I'd known that...
Lip Service
Panties Tell You What I'm Wanting
"Thank You"
Things I Would Like to See in Porn
Tom made me think

Sex & Politics
No Payola

BDSM & Fetish
Featured Fetish - Urophilia (Pee, Piss, Watersports)
Happy HNT - Metal bondage fun and a naughty night with Shasta Gibson
Singing about spanking
Submissive List

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Friday, July 20, 2007

Author Kis Lee Dishes On Dirty Stories

Many folks think erotica is just another word for 'dirty stories' and therefore miss out on other erotic possibilities in their relationships... So I asked author Kis Lee to describe what things she believes are essential to an erotic story, what makes it 'erotic' rather than just 'dirty,' and what those things mean as far as possibilities in your sex life.

For a while, the headline for my Myspace profile said: "I write dirty words for a living." It wasn't meant to be cheeky. I just like using the word "dirty." (My current headline simply says "smutty.") I see an overlap between "erotic" and "dirty." I don't see anything wrong with writing dirty stories. In my own writing, I don't think about the distinction between the two.

I like calling myself a "smut writer" because I write both porn and erotica. Sometimes I write a story that is pure stroke fiction: about two people hooking up and getting off. I like to think of these kinds of stories as masturbatory fiction. I want the reader to get turned on. Other times I write a story that is more about the characters than about sex. I want to explain why the particular characters get together. I want to explore why there is (or there isn't) sexual chemistry between the main characters. Those stories are more "erotic" in my mind. I'm really fascinated by the how's and why's of human relationships.

In my writing, I try to create a sense of reality infused with fantasy. Or perhaps it's fantasy infused with reality? In any case I want the reader to think that the story could take place in real life. I often write about moves and techniques that have worked for me. Sometimes I even take snippets of real life conversations. However if the story is too close to real life, it can be boring. That's why a lot of my stories involve my own unfulfilled fantasies. Despite being a smut writer, I haven't tried everything I've wanted to experience. Not even close. I use my writing as an avenue of exploring my hidden and not-so-hidden desires. I figure that if I get turned on, then some readers might feel the same way.

Fantasies play a big role in my sex life. I'm really open with my current partner, and he is open-minded as well. We talk about sex quite often, and we've discussed our fantasies. Even the act of discussing fantasies adds excitement to our sex life. We know that we're not going to fulfill every single fantasy, but it is fun to talk about the possibilities. Every time we share a fantasy, we learn more about the other person. We both look pretty tame, but we both have kinky sides. It keeps life exciting.

My partner recently asked me if he inspires my writing. He definitely does. Sometimes I use our experiences as material for fiction. (He knows this and I have his blessing.) Other times I rely on my imagination as the source. With unfulfilled fantasies, I have to pretend that I've experienced the same thing. For example, I wrote a story called "Bus Ride" and it involves bondage and public sex. I've experienced bondage before, but I've never had sex in public. I've never even had sex in the car before. For that story, the story began with the characters and the words just flowed from there. I hope that my readers wonder whether the story is based on fact. I like to keep people guessing.

Here's an excerpt from "Bus Ride":

"Don't be shy, love. Tell me why you need a collar."

"It's for a party," I said. "My friend is getting married, and we're going out clubbing afterwards."

"I see." He ran his hand over my thigh, his fingertips hovering in the air, never touching the soft fabric. He had large hands with long fingers. Whenever I saw a man with long fingers, I wondered if he knew how to play the piano.

He moved his hand from my thigh to my forearm. He lightly brushed my bare arm with his fingertips. His slight touch went from the inside of my wrist to my elbow and up towards my bicep. He stroked my skin slowly like he was remembering my texture. I watched his gaze slide over my breasts, my stomach, and lower.

I jumped when the bus rolled into motion. I didn't even hear the driver announce our departure. Shifting in my seat, I noticed that all the passengers congregated around the front and middle. A few middle-aged ladies discussed which casino had the best buffet.

"No one can see us," Dave whispered.

Kis Lee is a recovering lawyer turned freelance smut writer. Her story, Bus Ride, will be published in E Is for Exotic, part of the Erotic Alphabet Series by Cleis, due out later this month.

You can (try) to keep up with Kis at her erotica blog, her adult blog for women, and her website.

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Thursday, July 19, 2007

Sugasm #88

The best of this week's blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants -- of which we are one!

Want in Sugasm #89? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you're all set.

This Week's Picks
Kinky To Vanilla
"Now, each time we play with others, it's a gift that further cements our closeness and shows us the value of our love."

One For The Guys
"Get into the habit of building your sexual pleasure and indulging in it fully."

When A Client Dies-Part 2
"As I drank my morning coffee I googled his name and "obit". Up popped his obituary."

Mr. Sugasm Himself
A Porn Store Clerk Speaks

Editor's Choice
Love at First Sight

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot's Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

BDSM & Fetish
Bombshell (The Big News)
A Cock and a Smile
Dreaming of suburban spankings
Featured Fetish - Ropes (Shibari, Bondage, Ropework)
Fooling around
The Gain, pt. 4 - The Exchange
How I Went To Prom And Soiled The Pretty Pretty Dress I Found In The 2007 'Cosmo Girl Prom'
Ms160 judges a Princess competition...
My (Af)fair Lady
Naughty webcam fun with Griz and good girl
The Panty Controversy
Party Girl
Power Exchange (will I or won't I?) San Francisco, part 6
Slutty sight
Summer School
When Daddy Gets Home Tonight

Sex Work
Clients Say the Darndest Things

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
Bald = hot
Kinky Vanilla
On abandon
The Origins of Monogamy and Jealous
Pretendy Sex
Seduction - from the eyes of my spouse
Three years

Sex News & Reviews
Polyamorously Perverse, Gracie's Been Sleeping In Your Blog
Slip of a Girl Right Hand Ring Bling Contest

NSFW Pics, Videos & Audio
The Best A Woman Can Get
Chantelle Fontain Nude
Gemma Atkinson
Half-Nekkid and Supporting the Troops
Keana | Exhibitionist (Hegre Art)
Last night
More Lindsay Lohan Bikini Pictures
Tuesday's Tits for the Troops
WebMistress Feature Gallery: Party Girl

Sex Advice
Closed Due To Flooding?

Erotic Writing and Experiences
After Midnight
The Driving Urge
Fantasy Forth! "Twin Celebration"
First kiss
In which sinclair gets off
The Love of Sea Glass
Palm Springs ... Friday Finale!
Story: The Birthday Party
Test Your Strength
Watching you

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Monday, July 16, 2007

"Thank You"

Saying "thank you" is one of the things that people often forget to say. In fact, I think that when someone does say "thank you" it's more shocking than if they didn't! And that's pretty sad when you think about it.

What about in your relationship? When was the last time you thanked your partner for something you appreciated? When was the last time you thanked your partner for the little things he or she does that they don't even know mean something to you?

Saying "thank you" can increase your romance in your relationship because the more they know they are appreciated the more they will go out of their way to do those little things that make you happy. It's kind of along the theory of the more you scratch the more it itches, but in a positive way. If you say "thank you", they know that they're noticed and that their efforts don't go unseen.

There are many ways to say "thank you" besides actually saying it as well. You could:

~ put a sweet note in their lunch box, briefcase, or purse when they go to work.
~ buy them a special little gift with a note attached.
~ make them a dinner with a card set next to their plate.
~ give them a massage as you tell them how much you appreciated the nap you got to have before dinner.
~ buy them tickets for a concert
~ send them to the golf course with their buddies.
~ send them an sweet text message when they are least expecting it.

The ways to say "thank you" or to show your thanks are infinite. And the wonderful thing is that by leading by example they are more likely to show their thanks to you in return for the things you do that are appreciated.

Let's bring back the "thank you"s in our lives by starting a new trend. Thank your partner for something everyday. Then wait and see if it doesn't come back to you ten-fold!

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Talking Witches & Vampires With Paranormal Romance Author Ravyn Reccio

Why choose vampires and witches as characters? What about them is so compelling for you personally?

Back in 1979 I went with my best friend to see Dracula with Frank Langella, since then I have always been pulled by the power they hold -- be it in a movie or in a story. I started writing about vampires shortly after that.

The witches came last year when I started role playing. I was amazed about how men perceive witches to be dominating and very sensual so I took the idea and ran with it. That's how my witch came to life in Serpentine Majick. The same thing happened with Micah in Vampyric Dreams; I saw it unfolding in my head and I gave it life.

What makes paranormal romance so popular?

With me it's all about how the stories make me feel. The electricity around the plot and just how far the author is willing to go with the characters. The bumps in the night, the touch that makes your skin crawl or that mysterious kiss on the back of your neck... When you know you are alone.

It's all about the sweet seduction that is played out in our own mind.

As an author of witch and vampire stories, how do you go about creating real intimate & romantic moments ~ ones that humans react to and are moved by?

Vampires by nature are very sensual to begin with. In every vampire movie ever made the raw passion of the film has always left me wondering how they did it so it could be enjoyed and not seen as a taboo. Desire between humans and vampires has always been there. It's all about getting inside your own head and becoming that character you are writing about.

You can find out more about the author at her website, and at her blog.

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Sunday, July 15, 2007

Sex Lubricants Slip Sliding Away

When I was younger I balked at lubricants because I felt I didn't need them. Now that I'm older, lubricants are nice to have and create an exciting sensation. Lubricants can be a bit pricey, depending on what you buy. But the right lubricant is worth the money.

Sex Lubricants Slip Sliding Away

Sexual lubricants and sex oil products are used to heighten intimate joy between partners, or with one's self. Sex lubricants have been known to increase sex stimulation. It is not unique for a women's vagina to not develop sufficient natural lubrication. In these instances intimate lubricants can be a leading asset. Sexual lubricants, sexuality lubricants, anal sexuality lubricants, oil sexuality products, and sexuality massage oil products heighten intimate experiences in a protected and sanitary manner.

There are many types of intimate lubricants. Petroleum based sexuality lubricants; are oil based in makeup and include mineral oil, infant oils, Vaseline products, etc. Do to the system of these unsophisticated based sexuality lubricants, they cannot be used with diaphragms, and latex based products (condoms, etc.). Petroleum based intimate lubricants are too reported to cause inflammation and can annoy the vagina.

Water-based Lubes are the most secure and favorite lubricants for all situations. Typically made of de-ionized water, glycerin, and propylene glycol, they are secure to use with condoms. In addition, water-based lubricants are secure to use with sexuality toys, which are normally made of latex, silicone, or plastic.

It is rare that water-based lubricants cause inflammation, and they don't tarnish clothing. They are safe to ingest, and they come in both flavored and unflavored varieties. They tend to dry out over prolong periods, but a little water or saliva and they relubricate in a flash.

The natural oil lubricants come from sources such as nuts or vegetables. Like petroleum-based lubes, they too tear down latex (diaphragms, condoms, and cervical caps) and mark clothing. However, they do have one key benefit over petroleum-based lubes: they don't cause vaginal itchiness. This makes them excellent for male and female masturbation, as vaginal stimulation.

Silicone-based lubricants offer the benefits of water-based lubricants with the advantage of being waterproof, so they may be used in the bath, shower, jacuzzi, etc. Additionally, they will tend to lubricate longer than water-based lubes. Silicone will not impair latex, so they're safe with condoms and other forms sex toy stimulants; however, it is important to note that they tend to affect adult toys made from silicone. Many people report increased pleasure with the sensation and functioning of a silicone lubricant.

Sexual lubricants, sex lubricants, anal sex lubricants, oil sex products, and sex massage oils are a class of sex toy products. These products are sure to enhance one's sexual satisfaction, and can be used by couples or solo.

You can find additional sex lubricants and sex oils information here and here.

Jolie du Pre is an author of lesbian erotica and erotic romance.

Music for blogging - Tracy Chapman

Bulk of content provided by: Article Alley

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Friday, July 13, 2007


Intimacy isn't always sex; nor should it be.

The artist of this work, titled Physical Connection, is enchantedone. She writes of this work:
My idea was for a physical connection between male and female. Not something extremely sexual, but something deffinitly with some tension and sweetness.
Sometimes, this is the best way to establish, or reestablish, a connection.

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Thursday, July 5, 2007

Sugasm #86

The best of this weeks blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #87? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you're all set.

This Week's Picks
"Sometimes, she's even more the centre of things than he is, since she is a more recent addition to the dynamic, and since we both adore her."

Money and Sex
"And then in walks sex, #1 potential button pusher of all times."

Denied - 11
"There's a click, and a lifting of restriction, and cool, soothing moistness."

Mr. Sugasm Himself
The Skeptical Pornographer: The G-Spot.

Editor's Choice
A fitting for a marriage

More Sugasm
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See also: Fleshbot's Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

Sex News & Reviews
Fun Factory Layaspot Mini Vibrator Review
NEW Designs Throughout the Shop!

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
Adult Meme: Q & A
A Brief History of Literature
Cockwhore 101 - Spitting
Have You Ever Used A Vibrator So Long That Even After You Stopped It Still Tingled?
Internet fuck buddy
Is it in yet?
It's Behind You! Hurry Before It
Lesbian Sexuality 101
Q & A For (More Than) One (I Hope!)
Persian "Lover" - Part Two
Read Me
TMI, Anyone?
What if today was the last day?

BDSM & Fetish
Beer bottles and nipple clamps
Daddy's little girl
Featured Fetish Film: Lez Go Retro (Lingerie, Nylon, Lesbian)
Ms160 celebrates a birthday
Oh, Sweet Release! (Kinda)
Parking again
Scenes From My Bedroom - Part 1: Taken

Sex Work
The Art of Teasing

NSFW Pics, Videos & Audio
BodyPaint - Pictorial Presentation
Breann McGregor Undressed Nude Pictures
Deep Tongue Lovin'
LSG Models' Latest Erotic Photos and Video
San Francisco Pride Pix

Sex & Politics
The no porn pledge (And my response to other misguided people)
Watching Big Love...

Erotic Writing and Experiences
Dirty Talking Girl
Hot Summer Nights are a Voyeur's Dream
I know u want to
In Love With Her Best Friend
Saved By The Bell
Sexual Dreams~ ~#1
Silver Screen
Sleepy Time
Sweet Release
When Joe Brought Suzy Home 3

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Monday, July 2, 2007

When the Truth Comes Out

What do you do when you find out part way into a serious committed relationships that your partner has been holding back some crucial information that you really should have known before you made the commitment (the commitment being getting married, or living together, or what ever signifies commitment to you)?

Perhaps they've revealed that they are bisexual. Or maybe they've told you that they are a cross-dresser. Or perhaps they've just confessed that porn is a major part of their life and they've been watching it all this time behind your back.

There are really only several choices:

  1. Cut your losses and get out
  2. Take the time to really listen to them and find out what this means for your relationship
  3. Jump in with arms wide open and do everything you can to share this with them

Now, of course, not all of these are cut and dry. If there are children involved there will be even more questions to ask but for simplicity's sake, let's pretend that it is just the two of you.

Your first option is cutting your losses. This may be your first reaction, depending on what your partner has just confessed. But don't say anything yet. If you're really, really shocked just tell them you need to take some time to think about it. Then do just that. Think about it. Think about whether or not that changes this person you love. Does it change how they treat you? Does it change the way you see them? Does it make them a different person? Think about how hard it must have been to come to you, how much it must have hurt them to hide it from you, and how desperately they must want to be loved for who they are. Making this decision would mean major changes for both of you. It's not always the best one.

The second option - taking some time to talk it out with them - means hearing their side of the story with as little bias as possible. Listen to how they came to be who they are, why they hid it from you in the first place, why they decided to finally tell you. Ask questions and don't judge. If you judge them without actually listening, you've already left.

The last choice - jumping in, arms open - is not always easier said than done. You may not know everything you think you know about the situation. Keep talking. Talk every single day. Learn more, share more, and find out what is really involved in this little secret. You may not even have to get involved but simply may only need to accept that this is part of who they are.

Everyone has secrets but some are more shocking than others.

There are a few things that will be invaluable to you on your journey no matter which choice you make:

  1. Education - find out as much as you possibly can. Not just from them, but look things up on the Internet, read blogs, read educational material, read research.
  2. Support - find a group of people, whether in real life or on the net, who have gone through a similar situation. Talk to them and be honest with how you feel.
  3. Communication - you need to talk to your partner. Yes, you need to find out how they feel, but share with them how you feel as well. Let them know what questions are going through your head and what you do or don't understand. They'll often be able to answer your questions or point you to a resource that can answer them.
  4. Remembering - remember why you fell in love with them in the first place. Remember all the qualities that make you love them. Remember that you can get through anything - you just have to choose to and you both have to be on the same page.

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Sunday, July 1, 2007

One For The Guys

7 Tricks for Lasting Longer in Bed. A Crash Course in Sexual Stamina

My extensive experiences with tantric yoga, ancient sexuality practices, and contemporary western therapeutic paradigms have exposed me to many 'tricks-of-the-trade' when it comes to coming.

In this article I'll attempt to distill some of this simple but powerful wisdom. Hopefully men seeking to improve their sexual stamina, or even just to educate themselves sexually, can begin to use this as a roadmap for their quest. And a very worthy quest it is too, (speaking as a woman).

If there is one thing I cannot resist it is a man who is dedicated to learning more about his body and sexuality in general.

I know I speak for a lot of other women when I say that the most important quality in a lover is a commitment to improving the quality of his, and his partner's, sexual experiences.


1. Relax and increase your body awareness.

There are very many techniques out there to help you relax and be more able to 'feel' your body. As a yoga practitioner I have experience with very many powerful relaxation, meditation and breathing techniques.

Perhaps the simplest one is just paying attention to your breathing during sex. Not controlling it, just noticing it.

Masters and Johnson also developed a technique known as "sensate focus exercises" which I use extensively in my practice as sexual surrogate therapist and sex 'coach'.

2. Focus on pleasure in sex, rather than sexual performance.

Let go of any expectations about the outcome of sex. Going into a sexual experience with a 'plan' robs you of any ability to be open minded.

You cannot learn from sex if you are focused on how it should look.

Instead, notice the pleasure as it is happening. The pleasure will show you what is good. It is the ultimate teacher when it comes to sex.

3. Increase awareness of your sexual arousal.

Again, open your awareness to your feelings of pleasure and pay close attention to your arousal levels. Awareness is the first step to understanding; which is itself a step towards mastery.

Focus on your pleasure during sex, during masturbation, or even the subtle pleasure you experience when a gorgeous woman gets on the bus.

4. Extend your sexual arousal to higher levels.

There are many techniques you can learn to extend your pleasure. As you become more aware of your sexual arousal a natural increase in your arousal level is inevitable.

This will happen because you will become familiar and comfortable with your pleasure, and your body will propel you to greater heights naturally.

Be sure to practice sex and pleasure often, so your body can keep teaching you.

5. Master your sexual arousal consistently at higher levels.

As your sexual pleasure naturally increases with more practice, you will begin to 'play' with it.

Manipulate your breathing patterns, sexual energy field and subtle internal sensations, to the point that you can begin to feel mastery over them.

Again, ancient wisdom, sex manuals and other people's experiences are full of eye opening possibilities.

6. Become accustomed to a steady level of intense arousal.

Get into the habit of building your sexual pleasure and indulging in it fully. Let the moments you feel pleasure expand.

Let the arousal continue as if it didn't need to end ever. It will of course, but you don't care when ... just let it happen.

7. Stop thinking.

Drop your conscious mind out of the picture. Investigate or experiment with techniques to get your internal dialogue to shut up.

Experience all of this intense and joyous pleasure, not in your head, not by thinking about it ... but in your body. Feel it!

THE KEY is connecting more deeply to your own sensations and feelings.

Here's a bonus tricky tip for you. It's also the most important one.

8. Remember your own commitment to learn and grow.. . it all comes back to you.

By the way, if some of these tricks seem to be a bit of a tease it's because they are. Each one could be the subject of several very in depth articles or sexuality workshops.

I want you to take the time to ponder these tricks and look further. I wish you well on your adventures and I wish you very much pleasure.


Mukee Okan is an artist mother yogic practitioner and instructor sexual surrogate partner therapist and sacred sexuality teacher. Originally from Australia Mukee has trained and participated in many arenas of life experience. Her training in sacred sexuality has encompassed three complementary streams: the yogic stream, the shamanic stream, and the western medical model of surrogate partner therapy. She continues to explore other traditions and arenas in sacred sexuality.

Jolie du Pre is an author of lesbian erotica and erotic romance. She hopes that you enjoyed this article by Mukee Okan.

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