Thursday, May 10, 2007

Good Night!

So, you've had a long day. You've been running around the office all day, having meetings, in phone conferences, and meeting deadlines. Or perhaps you've been chasing a toddler, cleaning house, doing groceries, and basically making every one's day more enjoyable. Either way, you're exhausted. You climb into bed, pull the covers up to your chin and get ready to drift into a peaceful sleep. But it doesn't come. Instead you lay there staring at the ceiling. Sound familiar? To many this is a common theme when it comes to sleeping. After a hectic day, it is sometimes difficult to relax enough to fall asleep. And sometimes when they do fall asleep, it is not restful but spattered with crazy dreams that have them tossing and turning. So what do you do?

For many the answer is masturbation. Yes, jacking off, jilling off, spanking the monkey, tickling the ivory key, pulling the pud, whacking off, stroking the salami, blowing your own horn, buttering the corn, being a friction magician - you get the idea. And this isn't just something men do - women do it, too!

The fact of the matter is, masturbating releases endorphins in your brain, which in turn helps you relax. But the biggest reason masturbation may help you get those zzz's is because it takes you out of your mind and forces you to focus on your bodies responses. Let's face it - it's pretty damn hard to think about the project that is due tomorrow or whether little Johnny's behavior at the park was a result of not being breast fed long enough when your fingers are working magic over your favorite erogenous zone. Finally, the orgasm is like a good sneeze. You get rid of all the toxic energy that is floating through your body, which will calm your anxious muscles and put your mind at ease.

So, the next time you find yourself counting the cracks on the ceiling, remember that there is a much better way to relax and get some quality sleep - masturbate your way to a healthier night.

Good night all!

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