Journal, You Blushing Ladies (And Gents) Meme

You've had a great day and are in the mood; your partner isn't...

Can you get them in the mood?

If so, how?

If not, do you take matters into your own hands? And what props (toys, books, movies) do you use?

If you don't masturbate, what do you do with all that sexual energy?

Whether or not you've pleasure yourself, do you resent, 'keep score' or otherwise negatively note that your partner wouldn't please you?


If you're participating in this at your blog, please use "Blushing Ladies Journal" as a tag. And leave a link to your post in the widget so that others may find them!

Or feel free to post as a comment.

Adult Meme: Q & A

Playing along with this meme...

What's one question you've been expecting to be asked at your blog which has never been asked?

Quite honestly, there's quite a few questions I've been anticipating... Off the top of my head, I'd say I've been expecting to hear, "What's a sure-fire way to get a woman in the mood?"

Why?

Because it's a very common question. *wink*

Answer it.

If you want to please her, go the oral route ~ and read to her!

Put your mouth to good use, for as Woodrow Wyatt once said, "A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears."

It's not just Wyatt and I who say so either; science is backing us up. (See Canli and Gabrieli (2004) and Hamann et al (2004).)

So, read her poems, a story, or a chapter each night before bed. They can be as romantic or as dirty as she likes, but it's a certainty that she'll literally melt before you, with a puddle in her panties to prove it!

What's one question you've wanted to ask your readers, but never have?

Well, it's a question I've long just wanted to ask the world... Since women are so into auditory arousal, why aren't more women calling PSOs (phone sex operators)?

And don't cop-out and say that women don't need to pay for sex. We're talking about having a pro say everything you want to hear... How hot is that?!

Why not?

Just waiting for the right time to act on the impulse, I guess. *wink*

Now what are your thoughts on the matter?

What's Your Seduction Style (Quiz)

Love and Marriage

Hi all. I know, I haven't been here nearly often enough lately but I just had to share this with all of you. Check out this link to one of my other blogs. My husband wrote the and would like to share it as well. It is simply the most genuine, romantic thing you will ever read!

Between the Sheets - Love and Marriage - a Love Letter

A Question for The Blushing Ladies Journal

A Question for The Blushing Ladies Journal
Inside Jolie's Head - 6/24/2007

Hello there, my name is Stan. I thought you might have some good insight on this issue. I met a really attractive and intelligent woman at a party a few weeks ago. It was a public event at an art gallery. We had been talking for a good half hour and really seemed to be hitting it off. Then, things suddenly went downhill. I commented that she had a nice, full, hourglass figure. I thought she would take it as a compliment. Instead, she became deeply offended. She snapped, "Oh really....well perhaps I should do some plus size modeling!", and then she slapped my face and walked away. Needless to say, it was not my proudest moment.

She had the classic figure of a 50's pinup - large bust, narrow waist, shapely hips/legs. I guess she had interpreted "hourglass" as meaning big/overweight/full figured. I just thought it meant shapely and well proportioned. Also, I'm wondering if she may have been hypersensitive about her figure to begin with. She was part Vietnamese and most women of that ethnic background tend to be petite. She may have always felt awkward about being so voluptuous.

My buddies had watched the scene unfold and were laughing hysterically. When I told them what I had said they shook their heads and said it was never a good idea to comment on a woman's figure, even if I thought it was complimentary. What are your thoughts on this?

Here is Jolie's opinion:

You don't say in what country this happened, but in American society, these days, skinny or thin is the ideal. The shapely Marilyn Monroe physique of the 50's was erased with the emaciated Twiggy look of the 60's. The ideal look grew healthier with the Cindy Crawford look of the 80's, but returned to the anorexic look of a Kate Moss in the 90's. Today, in 2007, the ideal has not gotten much fatter.

Look at the number of female celebrities, Angelina Jolie being the latest victim, who have chosen to starve their bodies. Today there is enormous pressure on women to be thin, at all costs.

I've fallen victim to this trap myself. Everyone tells me I'm thin, but I don't always feel that way. It's crazy.

So, your friends are right. If you're going to compliment a woman's body, be very careful with what you say. Many women are very comfortable in their bodies and would not take offense at what you said, but many more, like that woman, would.

Jolie du Pre is a writer of lesbian erotica and erotic romance

Music for blogging - Pink

The Games Couples Play

When it comes to building intimacy, or rebuilding it, there's not much better than playing games ~ I don't mean mind games, but games with rules ~ card games and board games.

Movies, watching television, going out to events and bars offer little in the way of interaction, and even restaurants can make conversation difficult. But games? Games were designed to get people interacting and talking!

The games need not be adult or even for couples. A good old fashioned, clean, game of Monopoly can be just the thing to help you reconnect. Why? Because games were created to get people interacting.

Games, with their rules, turn-taking and structure, help get the ball rolling. Couples who find themselves with nothing to say, couples who are just getting to know each other, complete strangers or married couples who feel as if they are strangers, can all find themselves actively participating and talking. That's what games were designed to do!

Even angry couples can use games to break those stony silences. Rather than sitting side by side with nothing nice to say (and so remaining silent), rather than wondering what to say that won't lead back to that same old fight, let the game be your focus. Games were invented to be ice breakers, so let them break that icy silence! Following the game instructions sets your topic, playing the game sets your tone ~ to fun!

Feeling disconnected from your spouse? Why not turn off that TV, break out one of those games sitting in the back of the closet and spend time with one another. You never know where it will lead...

Your game need not be for lovers to turn you into lovers. Some of my personal favorites are Sequence and Uno.

Feeling silly? I have a vintage version of the home version of The Newlywed Game that I got at a rummage sale and answering the corny old 1960's questions always has us rolling. And, to be honest, learning a few (admittedly odd) things about each other. (It's also a great game to play with other couples, so I am always looking for different old versions of those retro games to add to my collection. Now you know ~ one of ~ my shameful dirty secrets.)

Feeling more... playful? Uncork that bottle of wine, light some candles and get out a romantic, erotic game.

Looking for ideas? Here are a few naughty game reviews:

Of A Hot Affair quoth Kat, "What is amazing is that there are so many ways to play this game... with 3 different levels, you can personalize the game according to how you are both feeling."

For you kinky folks, there's the Fetish Board Game. "Having explored plenty of kinks before I was surprised at how well the cards covered bondage and voyeurism, in particular. Although the cards are geared to the initiate, I think old hands will find themselves more than entertained by the cards' instructions as well."

With Lesbian Sex! Game, "Kheper Games, Inc. has come up with a wonderful way to get to know your lover and have some fun in the process. I've been with someone who couldn't talk openly about what they wanted, at least in the beginning. How wonderful this deck would have been!" (There's also a hetero version of Sex! too.)

And Roll 'Em Show 'Em is a fun time exploiting sex, money and drinking ~ and good for groups, you swingers you!

So next 'date night', why not order a new game and plan a special night at home enjoying your time together.

In the mood for a good, romantic comedy?

In the mood for a good, romantic comedy?
Inside Jolie's Head - 6/17/2007


I love a well done romantic comedy. Maybe it's a chick thing, but a good love story is always satisfying.

Here are ten that I recommend:



Continental Divide (1981 - M/F)



When Harry Met Sally (1989 - M/F)



Desert Hearts (1985 - F/F)



Love Jones (1997 - M/F, African American)



Manhattan (1979 - M/F)



Something's Gotta Give (2003 - M/F)



Frankie and Johnny (1991 - M/F)



The Wedding Singer (1998 - M/F)



The Goodbye Girl (1977 - M/F)



Elizabethtown (2005 - M/F)


Jolie du Pre is a writer of lesbian erotica and erotic romance.

Music for 6/17/2007 blogging - New Order

Journal, You Blushing Ladies (And Gents)

When's the last time you flirted with a stranger?

Did they blush? Did you?

How did you feel?

Did you do anything about it ~ masturbation, taking that heat to your partner counts!

Post your answers as comments ~ or make your own blog post and link to this post.

Yes, please post your blog entry URL in the comments area so we can find your answers! (Use "Blushing Ladies Journal" as your tag too.)

Zane Interview

From She's famous but anonymous: the enigma of erotic author Zane:

Zane's take on sex is hardly revolutionary: it should be safe and pleasurable, and communication is the key to stronger, more satisfying relationships. But her straightforward, conversational prose resonates in the black community, Mackey said.

"It's not openly discussed in most of our homes," Mackey said. "I had to learn from books or friends and big sisters. To have an author come out and broach this, even in fiction, is a breakthrough for us."

Zane's readers agree. Her work "goes right to the heart of modern sexuality," said Harold Fisher, a former Baltimore TV news anchor and one of a few men who joined dozens of women fans at a local book signing. "We all have sex. We just need to relax about it."

Also from the interview:

"Whereas most people don't have an issue with what I do, there are those who are self-righteous and do have an issue," Zane says. "So it's just not fair for other people who have absolutely nothing to do with it to be affected by that, because they didn't make this choice. I did."

Zane says she has a good relationship with her parents, but she didn't tell her mother about her writing career until she had three titles on the Essence bestseller list. It took her father a while to warm up to the idea of his daughter writing erotica, but he when he read "Nervous" - about a meek woman who channels her sexual aggressiveness into an alternate personality - "he thought it was brilliant," she says.

Two nifty things I learned:

I had no idea Zane was a chemist!

Zane started Strebor Books, an imprint of Simon & Schuster, in 1999.

Bisexual Married Women - Thanks!

Bisexual Married Women

Inside Jolie's Head - 6/10/2007



Thanks to the women who contributed essays and to our readers. As a final post, here is a story I wrote, a few years ago, with bisexual married women as characters.



Alice

By Jolie du Pre

Copyright 2004

Five mothers gathered in front of Howard Elementary School to pick up their kids. Dismissal was at 2:30, but they liked to arrive early to give themselves a chance to talk before they returned to their homes. Their other children, too young for Howard, frolicked on the school's playground just a few feet away.

"Will Carrie and Jonathan play soccer this summer?" Linda asked Madeline as Madeline placed Eva in her stroller.

"Yeah," Madeline replied, handing Eva her rattle and then standing to stretch her back. "But I can hardly afford it. They raised the fee. I paid $300.00 for them this time."

"I think I've spent about $500.00 so far on activities," Teresa said. "It adds up."

"Yes, but no amount of money is too much for some peace and quiet," said Marcia. "I'm sending my Timmy to a four-week computer camp. Then I'm going to lie on my lounge chair and drink Margaritas the entire time he's gone. I need it!"

Linda, Madeline and Teresa nodded at Marcia and laughed in agreement, while Susan listened and tried to concentrate. Susan never felt as organized as the other mothers. She almost forgot to sign Parker up for camp and remembered only when Linda called and asked if she wanted to car pool.

Susan watched as Howard's lot filled with more adults. It was 2:20. Once 2:30 arrived and school let out, she would gather her two kids and then rush home to check her messages on the computer.

For Susan, after school used to be reserved for cookies and homework. She would plop herself on the family couch, worn with overuse, and devote the time to helping Sydney and Parker with math problems, vocabulary words, book reports and other assignments. Roughly 45 minutes into it, she'd present homemade cookies, because it made her feel like a good mom and because she enjoyed the look on her kids' faces when they saw them.

Now when Susan returned home from school with her children, she found Alice's e-mails. Alice sent mail only during her lunch breaks. If Susan didn't read it after school, she'd have to wait until morning, when George and the kids were gone, and she couldn't bear to wait that long.

So the kids worked alone on their homework and cookies were left on a plate in the kitchen. Reading Alice's mail and responding took at least an hour. Afterward, in the time remaining, Susan would lend her help to Sydney and Parker before it was time to make supper.

It had been three months since she met Alice through a message board on the Internet. Two years earlier, George had bought Susan a lap top, and she soon discovered message boards, chat rooms and electronic mail while home alone. She'd always had sexual feelings for women and now she could connect with females like herself.

I'M SEEKING WOMEN, AGES 35 TO 45, FOR FRIENDSHIP, Alice had posted, but Susan knew a posting under Married Bisexuals would lead to more than just friendship.

This wasn't new for Susan. Before Alice there had been Christine. Christine lived only two miles away, but she had never felt comfortable seeing Susan behind George's back.

"He won't understand if I tell him about you," Susan had said to Christine over coffee at Java Town, their favorite meeting place.

"Well, my husband knows. Like I've told you, we don't believe in secrets. He's totally cool with my seeing you," Christine had said.

"You're lucky. George would leave me if he found out."

"Why risk it then?"

Christine had asked the question before, even though she knew the answer. Susan had shifted in her seat and wondered how many more times they would go over it.

"Because I need you, Christine. I need a woman in my life."

"I understand Sue, but this just doesn't feel right."

A week later, Christine and Susan broke up. Susan, devastated at first, searched for someone else. Alice's post had appeared six months later.

Dwayne, Alice's husband, knew about Susan, and it didn't bother Alice that George knew nothing about her. For Susan, it was almost perfect, except that Alice lived in Atlanta, many miles away from Susan's home in Illinois.

Dreams of Alice were frequent and vivid for Susan as she lay next to George at night. Sometimes when George put his mouth on her lips, she pretended his lips belonged to Alice. And his penis, the one that had entered her so many times before, now gave her powerful orgasms whenever she imagined Alice's touch.

She'd seen a photo of Alice, sent to her online. She looked to be about forty-five, fair with long dark wavy hair, large firm breasts under a low-cut tank and full lips adorned with red lipstick; lips Susan wanted to kiss and breasts Susan ached to suck.

"I don't like to send photos, but since we've had some intimate conversations, I thought I would," Alice had said. Susan responded in kind with her best smile and done hair. "You're very pretty," was Alice's reply.

Sometimes they chatted online about Alice's work as a psychiatrist, tales full of quirky patients. Although, when Susan grew tired of discussing Alice's work, it was she who moved the topic of their conversation to sex.

Five months into the relationship Susan wrote, "I can't stand this anymore. I've got to see you."

"I feel the same way, but how can you possibly get away?" Alice responded.

Susan had a plan. She told George that an old college girlfriend, now living in Georgia, wanted her to visit for the weekend and that Teresa would be available to watch Sydney and Parker if George needed it. George agreed, as long as Susan left on Saturday and returned on Sunday. Susan didn't argue.

Now Susan beamed in the grocery store, and at the post office, and in front of her friends, knowing that soon she would fuck Alice. She was beside herself with the thought, wet all the time and careless. She even left her vibrator out by mistake, right in the hands of her youngest, Sydney.

"Mommy what is this?" Sydney asked.

Susan grabbed it out of her hands and didn't reply. It's Alice, she thought to herself with a smile as she put it away.

On the plane to Atlanta, Susan quashed her butterflies with two shots of Jack Daniels. Once off the plane, Susan realized that Alice wasn't there. So she waited. She had traveled all the way to Atlanta. What will I do if she doesn't show up? she thought. Then, she saw a wavy haired woman sprint down the corridor toward her. Susan smiled with relief.

"I'm sorry I'm late," Alice said, pulling Susan toward her to give her a hug. "My God, you're so beautiful."

"It's really good to finally meet you," Susan said. She stared at Alice, in person for the first time, and saw a face that wasn't as pretty as in the photo. So she looked away and let her eyes fall on Alice's breasts, breasts that were as high and as large as she had hoped.

"Let's get some lunch before we head to the hotel. I'm starving," said Alice.

Alice's face, under the dim lights of the restaurant, looked better to Susan than under the harsh lights of the airport. Susan, still high from the shots of Jack Daniels, ordered a glass of red wine to maintain her buzz. Alice talked about her patients, once again, and Susan tried to imagine Alice naked while she pretended to listen.

"I saw Carmella again today," Alice said. "She's bipolar. Sue, do you know what bipolar means?"

"Yes," said Susan, "and I also know what pussy means."

Alice looked at Susan and fell silent for a moment. Then she leaned forward. "What are you going to do to me?"

Susan stared dead into Alice's eyes which caused Alice to shrink back. "Everything," Susan said.

Alice's eyes left Susan's gaze as she lowered her head and smiled. Susan grinned. She enjoyed reducing Alice, overconfident, over talkative and consumed with her profession to silence. Now Susan felt flush with her lust for Alice. The only thing she wanted to do was fuck Alice's brain out.

"I think we should go," Alice said.

"Good idea," Susan replied.

The hotel room was on the fancier end, but Susan didn't notice. Barely inside, she pushed Alice onto the king-sized bed and climbed on her. She felt Alice's large breasts under her own small ones.

She grabbed Alice's wavy hair and lowered her face to Alice's lips. Susan longed for Alice even more with the touch of her soft, wet mouth.

Susan unbuttoned Alice's blouse and opened it to reveal her bra. "I wore this red lacy thing just for you," said Alice. Her large breasts heaved out of the top lace of the bra. Susan throbbed at the sight of them.

"I don't know why, 'cause I'm just going to rip this thing off," Susan said.

"Gentle, dear. It's from Paris and it ain't cheap."

Susan smiled and reached her hands behind Alice's back. She unclipped the red bra revealing the breasts she had dreamed about.

Alice lay there topless. Her large breasts spread across her chest, her nipples dark and erect with excitement. Susan grabbed both breasts, pushed them together and ran her tongue down Alice's deep cleavage. She licked Alice's nipples, tenderly at first and them sucked and lapped at them furiously.

"Sue, I want you so bad!" Alice shouted. "I'm so wet. I want you to eat me."

"I'll eat you when I'm good and ready."

She grabbed Alice's skirt and pulled it down her legs. Then she removed her pantyhose, damp at the crotch, exposing the think, dark hair on her mound. She slid a finger into Alice's wetness, and then she yanked it out.

"Oh my God! Don't stop Sue, please."

Susan put her mouth to Alice's ear. "Spread your legs for me," she whispered.

"Yes," Alice whimpered.

Susan buried her mouth into Alice and in no time Alice bucked and roared with an explosive orgasm.

At six that morning, Susan lay awake next to a sleeping Alice. She had given pleasure and gotten it from someone other than George. The night was over. Soon she would return to Illinois.

Susan got out of bed and sat in a chair, staring at Alice while she slept. How could this go on? She thought. They could continue to chat online and send e-mails, but her hunger for Alice's body would always be there.

She loved George and she loved being a mother to Sydney and Parker. It was a life she didn't want to give up, but if she told George about her affair with Alice, she would have to. George was traditional and he was homophobic. He didn't know he married a bisexual. He couldn't know.

"You're up early," said Alice, straining to see as she awoke. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I'm just thinking."

"About us?"

"Yes."

"It'll be okay. I can come to Chicago in October. I love the Four Seasons, so I'll stay there. You can sneak off to see me, and George will never know."

"Alice, you know I can't continue like this. This is crazy. I don't know what I'm going to do." Susan put her head in her hands.

"Sue, I understand. This has got to be hard for you. Are you sure you can't approach this subject with George, slowly? I can help you with how to do it."

"I'm not one of your patients."

"I know Sue. I didn't mean it that way."

"I'm sorry, but George is nothing like Dwayne. He won't understand. I just wish you lived in Chicago. It would be so much easier."

"And I wish you lived here. Maybe we should leave it like this, Sue. We can continue to keep in touch, but your marriage is important. Perhaps visits like these are too much of a risk."

Susan stared at the floor and then looked at Alice. Alice's dark wavy hair sprayed across her delicate shoulders, and the crest of her bosom peaked gently out of the top of the comforter. Her early morning face, sans makeup, looked relaxed and honest. She was indeed beautiful.

Susan smiled.

"What is it?" said Alice.

"When did you say you could come to Chicago?"

END

Jolie du Pre is an author of lesbian erotica and lesbian erotic romance. Her first anthology, Iridescence: Sensuous Shades of Lesbian Erotica, is now in print . Order Iridescence: Sensuous Shades of Lesbian Erotica today.

Music for 6/10/2007 Blogging - Patti Smith

Honeymoon Bliss

You may or may not have noticed my absence this past few weeks. For once in my life I feel like I actually have a good excuse. I got married! I'd like to say that the previous week's absence was due to my planning a wedding but it wasn't. My sister planned it for me! She got the church, the lunch, and everything else ready and really all I had to do was show up. But there were a few plans to make on my end as well. Packing, where to send the kids during the honeymoon, and so on.

Our wedding was wonderful with a quaint little antique church and only about 25 guests. Perfect size for me. I don't like fuss.

For the honeymoon, we've gone the non-fuss route as well. We did splurge for one of the nicest hotels I've ever stayed at that overlooks a beautiful little lake (little is actually an understatement) in eastern Canada. The city we are staying in is barely a city with just over 16,000 people so it is easy to get around and there isn't major traffic. There are plenty of places to walk along the waterfront. Mostly we've been driving around the countrside and exploring the neat little places in town.

One thing we have really enjoyed together is random moments of flashing. Yes, flashing. I've always enjoyed flashing him around the house when he's least expecting it but I took it up a notch while we're on our honeymoon. I've flashed him in the elevator, the parking lot, and in the bushes! I even posed for some "just for him" pictures. He loves it.

So, I'll be back next week and I'll hopefully be done blathering about my honeymoon escapades. If you want to read more about it read Between the Sheets, one of my other blogs, where I've gone into a bit more detail.