Sunday, February 3, 2008

Card or Love Letter - Which Should You Give?

Valentine's Day is February 14. Here is a great article I found, by L.A. Hunter, on writing a love letter! Enjoy!
Think about how long it takes you to go to the store and pick the right card for your love. In the same amount of time, you can write a spectacular love letter. It's a very unique gift and it has a big impact on the emotions. Below are a few pointers to help you write a great one.

The biggest mistake you can make when writing a love letter is not being sincere. A love letter is something you can't buy, and because of that it means so much more. For example, if you don't like your love's eyes, don't comment on them in the letter. Write about what you do like or what you want to do together. Another mistake would be negativity in the letter. Always think positive and always write about the good. Here's an example, "I'm sorry for my actions, but you just make me angry sometimes." A better way, "I'm sorry for my actions and I cherish you very much."

When you're writing a love letter, it always helps to use whimsical words to enhance the uniqueness and feeling of the letter. If you're like me, you don't normally use these kinds of words everyday. So how do you write a spectacular love letter then? A thesaurus is a valuable tool which can help you create a passionate love letter you can be proud of. If you're not familiar with this, it's like a dictionary, but instead of giving the meaning of the word, it gives synonyms and antonyms. So if you want to write, "I love spending time with you," look up love and pick a word that's appealing to you and switch it. The new sentence is, "I treasure our time together."

Here are some key points to remember when writing your love letter. Always date it. Most people keep their love letters, so when they're reminiscing they'll be delighted to know the date. If you don't like this idea, instead of writing it at the top as usual, write it small on the bottom corner or on the back. And always write what you feel comfortable with, don't force yourself to write about things you're not. If you don't want to write about your love's physical appearance, write about things you want to do or how you feel when you're with or not with your love.

Even more ideas for your letters. Spray their favorite fragrance on the letter. Or better yet, use lavender, it has long been perceived as an aphrodisiac by both men and women. Experiment with different color and textured papers. Sometimes mail the letter and other times leave it for them to find, maybe surrounded by rose petals. For more interest, add sketches such as, little hearts, flowers, or dot your 'I's with hearts. Put a few silk rose petals in the envelope when done. The envelope should give the feel of a love letter. If you are not using fancy paper, draw little heart on the envelope or address it to "My Love __________."

Romance expert and author L.A. Hunter has created two web sites to help you with all your romantic needs., is a very special romance boutique where you can find romantic gifts, products and lots of free advice. was created to promote her book "Romeo's Playbook," and also contains oodles of free advice. When she's not talking romance, you might find her singing, dancing and playing games with friends. Her other hobbies include making wine, playing pool and sitting by the fire pit in the summer drinking a beer. Stop by either site and visit awhile.

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Sunday, August 19, 2007

"If you jump into bed on a first date, it's already over" and other Myths

People have a lot of preconceived misperceptions about love. But it is important to remember that there are no universal truths to love - only your truths. What happened to you is your truth and you will remember it until the day you die. And you will likely live by it as well. However, to your best friend, or the guy in the apartment next door, or the lady behind the counter at the corner store - your truth may not apply. In fact, it likely doesn't.

For example, take the whole idea of "love at first sight." Some swear by it. Others think it is a myth. For some it will always be a myth and they'll never experience the joys and the pains of love at first sight. Recently, there was an article at Romance Tracker called, "Love at First Sight - 3 Ways to Know It's Real." The three ways they gave as a sure fire way of knowing it was love at first site were: you don't want to rush things (physically), you see things in them that others don't, and you want to learn everything you can about them. Hmmm.

First, I'd like to say that just because you want to get intimate right away doesn't decrease the quality of love you have. I will admit that some people have sex and equate it with love and that does decrease their chances of building a solid relationship. But everyone is different. My husband and I have been intimate since our second date and I don't think that hurt us at all. Mind you, we do a lot of talking, laughing, and other non-physical intimate things together as well, so sex is not the mainstay of our relationship. I'd say if sex becomes the only reason for getting together then love is likely not what you're looking at. But just because you have sex doesn't mean that you're love (at first site or otherwise) is not real.

Now, the second point - you see things in them that others don't. That can be a good thing. I think I see a lot in my husband that others don't see and that is part of what makes us a great couple. I can also get past a lot of things that others might not be able to (anxiety/panic disorder is not an easy condition to live with for either party) and that makes us good for each other. But sometimes seeing things that others don't see can mean that you aren't seeing the things that others see.

If you see that he or she is an incredibly sensitive person with a great love for animals, that's great. But it's not so great if you focus on only that and refuse to see that he or she also has severe control issues that are going to impact your relationship in the future. Seeing good things about your partner is good. Making those the main focus and putting other things that are potentially dangerous are not.

Finally, you want to learn everything you can about them? Well, that almost sound kind of junior high to me. Of course, you want to learn about them. But it's important to remember that everyone has some secrets, everyone will have things that want to keep to themselves until they are ready to share, and if you are really in love you will respect that.

The bottom line is that every one's experiences with love - at first site, long standing, whatever type of love you think you are in - is conditional. It is based on your previous experiences, your morals, the norms of your society, and multitudes of other factors.

Love is what you make it to be. Don't expect yourself to fit into others definitions.

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Sunday, July 1, 2007

One For The Guys

7 Tricks for Lasting Longer in Bed. A Crash Course in Sexual Stamina

My extensive experiences with tantric yoga, ancient sexuality practices, and contemporary western therapeutic paradigms have exposed me to many 'tricks-of-the-trade' when it comes to coming.

In this article I'll attempt to distill some of this simple but powerful wisdom. Hopefully men seeking to improve their sexual stamina, or even just to educate themselves sexually, can begin to use this as a roadmap for their quest. And a very worthy quest it is too, (speaking as a woman).

If there is one thing I cannot resist it is a man who is dedicated to learning more about his body and sexuality in general.

I know I speak for a lot of other women when I say that the most important quality in a lover is a commitment to improving the quality of his, and his partner's, sexual experiences.


1. Relax and increase your body awareness.

There are very many techniques out there to help you relax and be more able to 'feel' your body. As a yoga practitioner I have experience with very many powerful relaxation, meditation and breathing techniques.

Perhaps the simplest one is just paying attention to your breathing during sex. Not controlling it, just noticing it.

Masters and Johnson also developed a technique known as "sensate focus exercises" which I use extensively in my practice as sexual surrogate therapist and sex 'coach'.

2. Focus on pleasure in sex, rather than sexual performance.

Let go of any expectations about the outcome of sex. Going into a sexual experience with a 'plan' robs you of any ability to be open minded.

You cannot learn from sex if you are focused on how it should look.

Instead, notice the pleasure as it is happening. The pleasure will show you what is good. It is the ultimate teacher when it comes to sex.

3. Increase awareness of your sexual arousal.

Again, open your awareness to your feelings of pleasure and pay close attention to your arousal levels. Awareness is the first step to understanding; which is itself a step towards mastery.

Focus on your pleasure during sex, during masturbation, or even the subtle pleasure you experience when a gorgeous woman gets on the bus.

4. Extend your sexual arousal to higher levels.

There are many techniques you can learn to extend your pleasure. As you become more aware of your sexual arousal a natural increase in your arousal level is inevitable.

This will happen because you will become familiar and comfortable with your pleasure, and your body will propel you to greater heights naturally.

Be sure to practice sex and pleasure often, so your body can keep teaching you.

5. Master your sexual arousal consistently at higher levels.

As your sexual pleasure naturally increases with more practice, you will begin to 'play' with it.

Manipulate your breathing patterns, sexual energy field and subtle internal sensations, to the point that you can begin to feel mastery over them.

Again, ancient wisdom, sex manuals and other people's experiences are full of eye opening possibilities.

6. Become accustomed to a steady level of intense arousal.

Get into the habit of building your sexual pleasure and indulging in it fully. Let the moments you feel pleasure expand.

Let the arousal continue as if it didn't need to end ever. It will of course, but you don't care when ... just let it happen.

7. Stop thinking.

Drop your conscious mind out of the picture. Investigate or experiment with techniques to get your internal dialogue to shut up.

Experience all of this intense and joyous pleasure, not in your head, not by thinking about it ... but in your body. Feel it!

THE KEY is connecting more deeply to your own sensations and feelings.

Here's a bonus tricky tip for you. It's also the most important one.

8. Remember your own commitment to learn and grow.. . it all comes back to you.

By the way, if some of these tricks seem to be a bit of a tease it's because they are. Each one could be the subject of several very in depth articles or sexuality workshops.

I want you to take the time to ponder these tricks and look further. I wish you well on your adventures and I wish you very much pleasure.


Mukee Okan is an artist mother yogic practitioner and instructor sexual surrogate partner therapist and sacred sexuality teacher. Originally from Australia Mukee has trained and participated in many arenas of life experience. Her training in sacred sexuality has encompassed three complementary streams: the yogic stream, the shamanic stream, and the western medical model of surrogate partner therapy. She continues to explore other traditions and arenas in sacred sexuality.

Jolie du Pre is an author of lesbian erotica and erotic romance. She hopes that you enjoyed this article by Mukee Okan.

Article provided by

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Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Love and Marriage

Hi all. I know, I haven't been here nearly often enough lately but I just had to share this with all of you. Check out this link to one of my other blogs. My husband wrote the and would like to share it as well. It is simply the most genuine, romantic thing you will ever read!

Between the Sheets - Love and Marriage - a Love Letter

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Thursday, May 10, 2007

Love Notes

Ever feel like your partner thinks you don't exist? Ever wonder if he thinks about you during the day or if he's just so absorbed in his work that you don't even enter his mind? If you do, chances are he does, too.

Women tend to think that it's just us that needs affirmation of our partner's love but they need it to. They want to know that you think of them during the day, that you dream about them at night, and that you lust after them randomly. Love notes are a great way to let them know that you do.

Try dropping a little love note in his briefcase (just make sure you don't put it anywhere where it will fall out onto his boss's desk!) or leaving him sticky notes on the fridge. If you can be relatively sure that only he will see it, don't be afraid to say something sexy.

"Dear ______________,

I had the most amazing dream last night. I dreamt that we went skinny dipping at that lake we used to go to all the time. The water felt so great on my naked skin and your skin against mine felt even better! Meet you at the shower tonight after the kids go to bed?



That's only an example. If you dare, get a little dirty. Get raunchy. Say what you really mean and then follow up on it.

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