A Question for The Blushing Ladies Journal

A Question for The Blushing Ladies Journal
Inside Jolie's Head - 6/24/2007

Hello there, my name is Stan. I thought you might have some good insight on this issue. I met a really attractive and intelligent woman at a party a few weeks ago. It was a public event at an art gallery. We had been talking for a good half hour and really seemed to be hitting it off. Then, things suddenly went downhill. I commented that she had a nice, full, hourglass figure. I thought she would take it as a compliment. Instead, she became deeply offended. She snapped, "Oh really....well perhaps I should do some plus size modeling!", and then she slapped my face and walked away. Needless to say, it was not my proudest moment.

She had the classic figure of a 50's pinup - large bust, narrow waist, shapely hips/legs. I guess she had interpreted "hourglass" as meaning big/overweight/full figured. I just thought it meant shapely and well proportioned. Also, I'm wondering if she may have been hypersensitive about her figure to begin with. She was part Vietnamese and most women of that ethnic background tend to be petite. She may have always felt awkward about being so voluptuous.

My buddies had watched the scene unfold and were laughing hysterically. When I told them what I had said they shook their heads and said it was never a good idea to comment on a woman's figure, even if I thought it was complimentary. What are your thoughts on this?

Here is Jolie's opinion:

You don't say in what country this happened, but in American society, these days, skinny or thin is the ideal. The shapely Marilyn Monroe physique of the 50's was erased with the emaciated Twiggy look of the 60's. The ideal look grew healthier with the Cindy Crawford look of the 80's, but returned to the anorexic look of a Kate Moss in the 90's. Today, in 2007, the ideal has not gotten much fatter.

Look at the number of female celebrities, Angelina Jolie being the latest victim, who have chosen to starve their bodies. Today there is enormous pressure on women to be thin, at all costs.

I've fallen victim to this trap myself. Everyone tells me I'm thin, but I don't always feel that way. It's crazy.

So, your friends are right. If you're going to compliment a woman's body, be very careful with what you say. Many women are very comfortable in their bodies and would not take offense at what you said, but many more, like that woman, would.

Jolie du Pre is a writer of lesbian erotica and erotic romance

Music for blogging - Pink

Journal, You Blushing Ladies (And Gents)

When's the last time you flirted with a stranger?

Did they blush? Did you?

How did you feel?

Did you do anything about it ~ masturbation, taking that heat to your partner counts!

Post your answers as comments ~ or make your own blog post and link to this post.

Yes, please post your blog entry URL in the comments area so we can find your answers! (Use "Blushing Ladies Journal" as your tag too.)

Flirting for Fun and Other Benefits

Once people have been in a relationship for a long time they forget how important flirting can be. Yes, flirting. It doesn't matter if you've been in a relationship for 2 months or 20 years -- flirting keeps things interesting. Flirting is a way that you can be sexual with your partner without actually engaging in sex.

Often, when you have children or busy jobs or a busy social life, it can be hard to make time for the special time you may need to start some great sex. Kids take up a lot of your time and your emotional energy and when the end of the day comes all you want to do is shut off and sleep. Or if you have a hectic, high demand job, it is hard to remember that you have a partner that needs your attention. But flirting can give you that little extra incentive to find time to give your relationship some intimacy.

Imagine that your in the kitchen doing something normal, like dishes, and your husband (or wife) comes up and whispers in your ear, "You can't even imagine what is going through my head right now, seeing your hand covered in all those bubbles..." and then they walk away. Won't that make you curious. The next night as you're icing a cake, they give you a sexy look and just say, "Mmmm, icing." Now if you and your partner exchange little flirtatious innuendos all week long, I can almost guarantee that as the week goes on you'll be on each other's minds more and more. And by the time the weekend comes and you've asked your parents to take the kids for the weekend, flirted your way through a delicious meal or held hands throughout the movie, when you finally get home and get each other along, there will be passion flowing all over the place.

My fiance and I have only been together for a year but we flirt all the time. I plant ideas in his head that appeal to his fantasies (and mine). If he's on the phone I'll sometimes sneak up behind him and slide my hand over his shoulders, down his chest, and back up. Then I leave him to his phone call. Sometimes at night we talk about sex, fantasies, experiences, even though we have no intentions of actually having sex. On occasion, it actually does lead to sex, but usually it doesn't. By the time that we do actually have the opportunity to have sex, all that talking and flirting has us ready and rarin' to go!

Everyone knows that women love foreplay, and lots of it. Well, think of flirting and sexual innuendo as foreplay for men. It can last for an hour or it can last for weeks. Flirting is great. Flirt with your partner for a week or even two. Don't even try to initiate sex in that time. When you finally do initiate sex, I'll bet he'll be more in the mood than he has before.