Thursday, March 29, 2007

Pillow Talk and Talking Dirty

When people think of pillow talk they might think it means talking dirty. But that's not necessarily the case. Pillow talk can be anything that turns both of you on. But talking dirty can be lots of fun and it is well worth exploring.

It is commonly believed that men love dirty talk. Okay, I'm not going to lie to you - a LOT of them do. But for a lot of women, dirty talk is just too much to ask for right away. It makes them feel embarrassed and a little bit shameful. But you don't start off learning to swim by swimming the English Channel do you? No, you start by getting your feet wet, then gradually building up to a full body dunking and before you know it you're swimming.

Pillow talk is kind of like that. You have to start slow and get comfortable first. After all, it is rather difficult to be turned on when the discomfort of uttering words you can barely say in your head out weighs your arousal. So start slow.

One of the things that men like about dirty talk is the praise. They like being told that they are doing something right and, even more, they like knowing that they are turning you on. So start with easy words that aren't particularly dirty.

"Honey, I love it when you touch me like that."

"Do that again. That felt really good."

"Could you do that thing you did last night again? I just can't get enough of that."

"Don't stop, don't stop..."

You don't have to utter a single dirty word and you can still make your partner feel turned on and appreciated.

But what if you really want to? You want to learn to talk dirty and get comfortable with it? Ester November has some good advice. One of the things she suggests is reading erotica. Find some stories you love with language that turns you on. Once you find a few stories you like, read them aloud to each other. Or find some audioerotica to listen to together.

Reading, hearing, and saying the words aloud will make you feel more comfortable with them and your partner will love it.

Once you get used to just speaking, you can gradually add more erotic wording to your love making. Before you know it, you'll be talking dirty like a pro.

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