Thursday, March 8, 2007

Discussing Your Fantasies

Discussing your fantasies can be a difficult thing.

All the sex experts recommend that you talk to your partner about your fantasies, if you want to experience them, but I wonder, have they ever done so?

Discussing your fantasies can often set you up for failure.

Sometimes our fears of sounding like a freak make us delve into the 'why' more than the 'how' and with the dissection you might actually have to look as parts of yourself that are not as attractive as firm breasts or a rock hard dick...

You might have to look at part of yourself that expose way more than your naked body ~ your soul.

For me, my little rape fantasy is contains elements of my desire to let go of the control... And while it takes trust to hand myself over physically to a lover in such a fashion, it takes even more to admit it. That kind of standing-naked-emotionally-before-you is not really Gracie's style...

And sometimes the high expectations of just trying to carry out something you have fantasized about for a long time can make the reality a poor substitute.

It sure can put pressure on a partner to feel the need to live up to something too. Or worse yet, they can take your fantasy to think they have not been 'doing it right.' That's a conversation no one wants to have, right?

Now you have an insecure person who bared their soul, and an insecure person trying to fulfill a fantasy... How great will that sex be?

Gracie is not saying "don't share your fantasies" ~ not at all. It's just Gracie's opinion that the 'experts' who advise to tell a partner just never give the part of the advice we need: How to share a fantasy without ruining it.

Maybe that is why so many folks are meeting on the Internet. In groups where the fantasy is a 'given' so there is no explaining to do.

I know that is why many clients seek escorts. No need to worry about explaining to a pro 'why,' all you have to do is agree it is allowed.

I guess we all need relationships where we can do it because it is allowed and not have to dwell too much in the 'why it works' areas... Unless you like that kind of brain play, intimacy & sharing. Then just ignore Gracie. *wink*

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